tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212341952024-03-06T22:54:15.264-08:00Connecting With CompassionI feel grateful you are visiting my blog. I'd like to hear how you feel and what you think about what you find here. Would you be willing to connect by making a Comment? Also, please consider visiting radicalcompassion.comJim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.comBlogger112125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-65118151544447980952011-06-14T17:31:00.001-07:002011-06-14T17:38:56.734-07:00Greetings, Friends,<div><br /></div><div>Blogging is hard work! And for me, the blogging has fallen on the priority scale as I focus on other NVC-based projects, including <a href="http://radicalcompassion.com">radicalcompassion.com</a>,<a href="http:// pathwaystoliberation.net"> pathwaystoliberation.net</a> and <a href="compassionateleadership.com">compassionateleadership.com</a>. I've also spent the last year closing up a life's chapter of almost thirty years in Albuquerque and relocating to Haiku, Hawaii on the beautiful island of Maui.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I have found a new way to contribute that seems fun and connecting, like a blog, but less work.</div><div><br /></div><div>Please check out <a href="http://www.scoop.it/t/radical-compassion/">http://www.scoop.it/t/radical-compassion/ </a></div><div><br /></div><div>This is my new experiment in curating supportive articles and news that feed my aspirations and inspirations, and hopefully yours, too.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you would like to connect about this blog (including its current dormant state), please write directly to radicalcompassion@gmail.com</div><div><br /></div><div>Peace on us,</div><div><br /></div><div>Jim</div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-7530854775128541632010-08-02T13:35:00.001-07:002010-08-02T13:35:27.354-07:00DEUTSCH~FRANÇAIS~ESPAÑOL~PORTUGUÊS~MAGYAR<br />hier unten ici-bas aquí abajo aqui abaixo alábbiakban<br /><br />Dear Community,<br /><br />I feel delighted about sharing The Matrix of skill assessment and<br />development that we have created as well as a dynamic, multi-language online<br />community discussion forum . These are now available through our Pathways<br />to Liberation team's website:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br /><br />*More about The Matrix of skills and development:*<br />Many of you have heard that Jim and I have been writing a book on<br />self-assessment with Jake Gotwals and Jack Lehman. The cornerstone of this<br />book is The Matrix of 28 skills and their development from unskilled to<br />integrated. Jim and I have already started using The Matrix in our<br />Compassionate Leadership program and many participants have reported that<br />they have benefited from working with it, getting clear about the shifts<br />they have already had and gaining insight about their path of deepening<br />their skills and consciousness.<br /><br />*More about the community forum:*<br />I am also VERY excited about the community forum integrated into the website<br />by our very techno-savvy Jake Gotwals, who has been working on a<br />comprehensive tool for interaction among those "on the path". This forum<br />provides a resource for multi-language discussions, including about the<br />skills of the Matrix, areas of application, projects, and also for making<br />connections, requesting or offering support, and more. Check it out and<br />start using it at:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />Please forward this to all who could benefit and contribute in any of the 52<br />languages that google translate offers. Also, we welcome any feedback you<br />are willing to share with us about The Matrix and the community forum.<br /><br />In partnership,<br />Jori - for the Pathways to Liberation team:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim and Jori Manske<br /><br />*DEUTSCH~DEUTSCH~DEUTSCH~DEUTSCH~DEUTSCH*<br />Übersetzung durch Maschine möglicherweise nicht vollständig korrekt.<br /><br />Liebe Community,<br /><br />Ich fühle mich sehr erfreut über die gemeinsame Nutzung der Matrix der<br />Bewertung von Fähigkeiten und Entwicklung, die wir geschaffen haben, sowie<br />eine dynamische, mehrsprachige Online-Community Diskussionsforum. Diese<br />werden nun durch unsere Pathways zur Verfügung Liberation-Team der Website:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br />*<br />**Mehr über The Matrix von Fähigkeiten und Entwicklung:*<br />Viele von Ihnen haben gehört, dass Jim und ich haben ein Buch über<br />Self-Assessment mit Jake und Jack Gotwals Lehman. Die Eckpfeiler dieses<br />Buches ist die Matrix von 28 Fähigkeiten und ihre Entwicklung vom<br />ungelernten zu integrieren. Wir haben bereits begonnen, mit der Matrix in<br />unserem Leadership Programm Compassionate und viele Teilnehmer berichteten,<br />dass sie von der Arbeit mit davon profitiert, immer klar über die<br />Verschiebungen sie schon gehabt haben und Einblick über ihren Weg der<br />Vertiefung ihrer Kenntnisse und des Bewusstseins.<br /><br />*Mehr über die Community-Forum: *<br />Ich bin auch über die Community-Forum in die Website von unserem sehr<br />techno-versierte Gotwals Jake, der über ein umfassendes Werkzeug für die<br />Interaktion zwischen gearbeitet hat integrierten SEHR aufgeregt jene "auf<br />dem Weg". Dieses Forum bietet eine Ressource für mehrsprachige Beratungen,<br />auch über die Fähigkeiten der Matrix, Einsatzbereiche, Projekte und auch zur<br />Herstellung von Verbindungen, beantragen oder Unterstützung anbieten, und<br />vieles mehr. Check it out und starten Sie es unter:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />Bitte leiten Sie diese an alle, die profitieren und dazu beitragen<br />könnten. Außerdem<br />begrüßen wir Ihr Feedback Sie bereit sind, mit uns zu teilen über die Matrix<br />und die Community-Forum.<br /><br />In Partnerschaft,<br />Jori - für die Wege zur Befreiung Team:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim und Jori Manske<br /><br />*FRANÇAIS~FRANÇAIS~FRANÇAIS~FRANÇAIS~FRANÇAIS*<br />Traduction par machine ne peut pas être tout à fait exact.<br /><br />Communauté Cher,<br /><br />Je suis très heureux de partager la matrice de l'évaluation des compétences<br />et le développement que nous avons créés, ainsi que d'une dynamique, un<br />forum multi-langue de discussion en ligne de la communauté. Ces sont<br />maintenant disponibles à travers notre site Passeport pour l'équipe de<br />Libération:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br /><br />*En savoir plus sur La matrice des compétences et le développement: *<br />Beaucoup d'entre vous ont entendu dire que Jim et moi avons été d'écrire un<br />livre sur l'auto-évaluation avec Gotwals Jake et Jack Lehman. La pierre<br />angulaire de ce livre est la matrice de 28 compétences et leur développement<br />à partir non qualifiés à intégrer. Nous avons déjà commencé à utiliser la<br />matrice de notre programme de leadership de compassion et de nombreux<br />participants ont indiqué qu'ils ont bénéficié de travailler avec elle, se<br />claires sur les changements qu'ils ont déjà et de gagner sur leur chemin<br />pour approfondir leurs compétences et de la conscience.<br /><br />*En savoir plus sur le forum de la communauté:*<br />Je suis aussi très excité au sujet du forum communautaire intégré dans le<br />site Web par notre très techno-savvy Gotwals Jake, qui a travaillé sur un<br />outil complet pour l'interaction entre ces "sur le chemin". Ce forum<br />constitue une ressource pour les discussions en plusieurs langues, y compris<br />sur les compétences de la matrice, les domaines d'application, les projets,<br />et aussi pour faire des connexions, la demande ou l'offre de soutien, et<br />plus encore. Consultez-le et commencer à l'utiliser à l'adresse:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />S'il vous plaît le communiquer à tous ceux qui pourraient bénéficier et de<br />contribuer. Aussi, nous invitons vos commentaires sont disposés à partager<br />avec nous sur la matrice et le forum de la communauté.<br /><br />En partenariat,<br />Jori - pour les chemins de la libération de l'équipe:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim et Jori Manske<br /><br />*ESPAÑOL~ESPAÑOL~ESPAÑOL~ESPAÑOL~ESPAÑOL*<br />Traducción por máquina no puede ser completamente exactos.<br /><br />Estimada Comunidad,<br /><br />Me siento muy contento de compartir la matriz de evaluación de competencias<br />y el desarrollo que hemos creado, así como un foro dinámico, comunidad en<br />línea en varios idiomas discusión. Estos están ahora disponibles a través de<br />nuestro sitio web del equipo Senderos de Liberación:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br /><br />*Más sobre The Matrix y el desarrollo de habilidades: *<br />Muchos de ustedes han oído que Jim y yo hemos estado escribiendo un libro<br />sobre la autoevaluación con Gotwals Jake y Lehman Jack. La piedra angular de<br />este libro es The Matrix, de 28 de competencias y su desarrollo de<br />capacidades mentales limitadas integrado. Ya hemos empezado a utilizar la<br />matriz en nuestro programa de liderazgo compasivo y muchos participantes han<br />informado de que se han beneficiado de trabajar con él, consiguiendo claras<br />sobre los cambios que ya han tenido y para el conocimiento acerca de su<br />camino de la profundización de sus conocimientos y la conciencia.<br /><br />*Más información sobre el foro de la comunidad: *<br />También estoy muy entusiasmado con el foro comunitario integrado en la<br />página web de nuestro muy techno-comprensión Gotwals Jake, que ha estado<br />trabajando en una herramienta completa para la interacción entre los "en el<br />camino". Este foro constituye un recurso para los debates en varios idiomas,<br />incluidos alrededor de las habilidades de la Matriz, áreas de aplicación,<br />los proyectos, así como para realizar las conexiones, solicitar u ofrecer<br />asistencia y otros. Compruébelo usted mismo y comenzar a usar en:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />Por favor, transmita la presente a todos los que podrían beneficiarse y<br />contribuir. Asimismo, damos la bienvenida a cualquier comentario que están<br />dispuestos a compartir con nosotros acerca de The Matrix y el foro de la<br />comunidad.<br /><br />En asociación,<br />Jori - para las Vías para la Liberación de equipo:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim y Manske Jori<br /><br />*PORTUGUÊS~PORTUGUÊS**~PORTUGUÊS~PORTUGUÊS*<br />Tradução por máquina pode não ser totalmente precisos.<br /><br />Comunidade Dear,<br /><br />Sinto-me feliz em compartilhar a matriz de avaliação de competências e de<br />desenvolvimento que nós criamos, bem como uma dinâmica, multi-linguagem<br />online fórum de discussão da comunidade. Estes estão agora disponíveis<br />através de nosso website Caminhos para a Libertação da equipe:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br /><br />*Mais informações sobre a matriz de habilidades e desenvolvimento: *<br />Muitos de vocês já ouviu falar que Jim e eu fui escrevendo um livro sobre<br />auto-avaliação com Jake Gotwals e Lehman Jack. A pedra fundamental deste<br />livro é The Matrix, de 28 de habilidades eo desenvolvimento de inábeis<br />integrada. Já começou a utilizar a matriz em nosso Programa de Liderança<br />compassivo e muitos participantes relataram que tiverem beneficiado de<br />trabalhar com ele, ficando clara sobre as mudanças que já tiveram e ganhar<br />insight sobre seu caminho de aprofundamento dos seus conhecimentos e<br />consciência.<br /><br />*Mais informações sobre o fórum da comunidade: *<br />Também estou muito animado sobre o fórum da comunidade integrada no nosso<br />website por muito techno-esclarecido Gotwals Jake, que vem trabalhando em<br />uma ferramenta completa para a interação entre os "do caminho". Este fórum<br />fornece um recurso para as discussões multi-idiomas, inclusive sobre as<br />habilidades da Matriz, as áreas de aplicação, projetos e também para fazer<br />ligações, pedindo ou oferecendo suporte e muito mais. Check it out e começar<br />a usá-lo em:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />Por favor, envie isto a todos os que poderiam se beneficiar e contribuir. Além<br />disso, congratulamo-nos com todo o feedback que você está disposto a<br />compartilhar conosco sobre The Matrix e do fórum da comunidade.<br /><br />Em parceria,<br />Jori - Caminhos para a Libertação para a equipe:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim e Jori Manske<br /><br />*MAGYAR~**MAGYAR~MAGYAR~MAGYAR~MAGYAR~MAGYAR *<br />Gépi fordítás nem teljesen pontos.<br /><br />Kedves közösségi,<br /><br />Úgy érzem, boldog megosztásról A Matrix a skill értékelését és fejlesztését,<br />hogy hoztunk létre, valamint egy dinamikus, többnyelvű online közösség<br />vitafórum. Ezek már kapható keresztül vezető utak a Felszabadító csapat<br />honlapján:<br />http://pathwaystoliberation.net/about<br /><br />*Többet a Mátrix készségek és fejlesztés: *<br />Sokan már hallottam, hogy Jim és én már írt egy könyvet önértékelési a Jake<br />Gotwals és Jack Lehman. Alapköve ez a könyv a Matrix 28-képességek és<br />fejlődés képzetlen az integrált. Már elkezdtem használni a Matrix a mi<br />Együttérző vezetés program, s egyre többen arról számoltak be, hogy azok<br />részesültek dolgozik vele, egyre tisztában a műszak, hogy már nem volt, és<br />egyre betekintést a saját útját elmélyítésében készségek és tudatosság.<br /><br />*További információ a közösség fórumban:*<br />Én is nagyon izgatott a közösség fóruma integrálni a honlap a mi igazi<br />techno-hozzáértés Jake Gotwals, aki már dolgozik egy átfogó eszköz<br />kölcsönhatás közül "az úton". Ez a fórum biztosít forrást többnyelvű<br />tárgyalások, többek között arról a készségeket a Mátrix, alkalmazási<br />területek, projektek, és a csatlakozások, és kérte, vagy segítség nyújtását,<br />és így tovább. Check it out, és elkezd használ ez-on:<br />http://community.pathwaystoliberation.net<br /><br />Kérjük, továbbítsa ezt mindenkinek, aki előnyeiből, és hozzájárulnak. Is,<br />szívesen látjuk minden visszajelzést akkor hajlandó megosztani velünk a<br />Mátrix és a közösség fóruma.<br /><br />Partnerségben,<br />Jóri - az utak, hogy Felszabadítási csapat:<br />Jake Gotwals<br />Jack Lehman<br />Jim és Jóri ManskeJim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-13988316636637003652010-01-27T19:27:00.001-08:002010-01-27T19:38:24.468-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(82, 82, 82); line-height: 21px; font-family:'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><div id="pageBodyWrapper" style="clear: both; "><div id="pageBody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; font-family:Optima, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size:24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">NVC Mediation and Conflict Resolution:</span></span></div><div id="pageBody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; font-family:Optima, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size:24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:14px;"><span style="font: 24.0px Optima; letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">A Telephone (Telecourse) Program</span></span></span></span></div><div id="pageBody"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: normal; font-family:Optima, 'Lucida Grande', Tahoma, sans-serif;font-size:24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font: 24.0px Optima; letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">with CNVC Certified Trainers Jori Manske and Jim Manske from Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA</span></span></span></span></div></div><div id="pageFooterWrapper" style="text-align: left;clear: both; padding-top: 50px; padding-bottom: 50px; "> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">6 nearly consecutive Thursdays, February 18 – April 1, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PST/PDT<br />(1:00 AM/12:00 AM GMT/next day)</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Class size will be limited to 24 participants.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Join Certified Mediators and Facilitators Jori and Jim Manske in an exploration of using Nonviolent Communication in the context of Mediation and Conflict Resolution. Opportunities for practice will be woven with lessons covering the essential elements needed in order to begin to use the NVC process during conflict situations. There will be extensive coaching and feedback offered. To maximize practice opportunities, each trainer will facilitate a smaller group during portions of the program and the class size will be limited to 24 participants.<br /><br />Connect with others in a 6-week workshop series integrating the skills and consciousness of empathy, honesty and self-connection in the context of becoming a "third presence" with others who are in conflict.<br /><br />This course is ideal for parents, people in partnerships, business people, or anyone who wants to improve their relationships with others.</span></p> <ul> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Focusing on observations, feelings, needs and requests to support people in taking responsibility for their own experience, and being compassionate with themselves</b></span></li> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>"Pulling by the ears" to help people hear the observations, feelings, needs, and requests of the other parties in the dispute, and build compassion for each other</b></span></li> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Offering "emergency first-aid empathy" when emotions are intense and people do not have the resources to listen to each other</b></span></li> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Tracking and balancing the process to clarity that everyone's needs are heard and acknowledged</b></span></li> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Identifying and using needs as a guideline to craft agreements</b></span></li> <li style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Using requests to find strategies, and checking to see if they work for everyone</b></span></li> </ul> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Course Schedule:<br />Thursdays, February 18 – April 1, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PST/PDT</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">February 18, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PST (1:00 AM GMT, 2/19)—My Time Zone?<br />February 25, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PST (1:00 AM GMT, 2/26)—My Time Zone?<br />March 4, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PST (1:00 AM GMT, 3/5)—My Time Zone?<br />March 18, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PDT (12:00 AM GMT, 3/19)—My Time Zone?<br />March 25, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PDT (12:00 AM GMT, 3/26)—My Time Zone?<br />April 1, 2010 • 5:00 - 7:30 PM PDT (12:00 AM GMT, 4/2)—My Time Zone?</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Recommended</b>: For an introduction to NVC, the NVC Academy offers a course in the <a href="http://nvctraining.com/courses/online-courses/foundations101/foundations.html"><span style="font: 12.0px Optima; text-decoration: underline ; letter-spacing: 0.0px color:#2900b0;">Foundations of NVC</span></a>.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Fee: $180.00<br />Class size will be limited to 24 participants.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Curious about our pricing? Click here for more information.</b></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>TO REGISTER:<br />Returning NVC Academy Student? </b><a href="http://nvctraining.com/courses/telecourses/JJM/mediation-conflict-20100218/mediation-conflict-login.php"><span style="font: 12.0px Optima; text-decoration: underline ; letter-spacing: 0.0px color:#2900b0;"><b>Login and Register</b></span></a><b><br />New to NVC Academy? </b><a href="http://nvctraining.com/registration/signup.php?price_group=85303"><span style="font: 12.0px Optima; text-decoration: underline ; letter-spacing: 0.0px color:#2900b0;"><b>Sign-up and Register</b></span></a></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><img src="webkit-fake-url://E352813E-551D-42D5-B962-0E32BD09EACF/pastedGraphic.pdf" alt="pastedGraphic.pdf" /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 21.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; color:#c0c0c0;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>Questions? </b>Contact our <a href="http://nvctraining.com/helpdesk"><span style="font: 12.0px Optima; text-decoration: underline ; letter-spacing: 0.0px color:#2900b0;">Help Desk</span></a></span></p></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-43099220269756446722010-01-05T20:49:00.000-08:002010-01-05T23:22:11.398-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Greetings, Friends,</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">I hope your New Year is filled with joy and you are all remembering to attend to the life within you and balance self-care! Breathe!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Ahhh....</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">And I feel excited as I consider you joining Jori and me for a wonderful opportunity to deepen your NVC learning and practice.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Beginning on January 6th, we will begin an innovative new practice group via NVC Academy. We will focus on building the consciousness of NVC and Radical Compassion by focusing on specific skills featured in the book we are co-authoring with Jack Lehman and Jake Gotwals, the other 2 CNVC trainers living in New Mexico. The group will be experiential and interactive!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">The foundational skill of Presence will open the new practice group and be our focus for at least the first two sessions. I feel intrigued about utilizing new teleconference technologies to provide an experience that is the next best thing to being together in person. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">For complete details and to register for this inexpensive program, please see more details below, then register here: </span></div><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><table border="2" align="center" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="10"><tbody><tr><td align="left" valign="top" bg="" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;color:#E4F192;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Returning NVC Academy Student?<br /></span><a href="http://nvctraining.com/courses/telecourses/JJM/radical-compassion-20100106/radical-compassion-10-login.php" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Login and Register</span></a></strong></td><td align="left" valign="top" bg="" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;color:#FBED86;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">New to NVC Academy? </span><a href="http://nvctraining.com/registration/signup.php?price_group=85293" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br />Sign-up and Register</span></a></strong></td></tr></tbody></table></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:19px;"><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><img src="http://nvctraining.com/images/headshots/jim-manske-050.jpg" width="75" height="75" hspace="5" align="left" /><img src="http://nvctraining.com/images/headshots/jori-manske-050.jpg" width="75" height="75" hspace="5" align="left" /><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:+2;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><a name="125ee1cd04ce345c_125ee144a2a02608_125dcfcc157bad9f_125dc5430e640cad_A31"></a>Radical Compassion: A Weekly NVC Global Practice Group (fee varies) </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">w</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">ith Jim Manske and Jori Manske, CNVC Certified Trainers</span></span></span></span><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Meets every Wednesday for 6 Months<br />January 6, 2010 - June 30, 2010, 12:00 Noon - 2:00 PM PST/PDT (8:00 - 10:00 PM GMT)</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Fee: In order to make it possible for the greatest number of people to participate, we are offering four options for payment:</span></strong></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">$10.00 USD per month for 6 months, or<br />$20.00 USD per month for 6 months, or<br />$40.00 USD per month for 6 months, or<br />$60.00 USD per month for 6 months</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Sign up for this ongoing Practice Group and expect to:</span></strong></span></span></p><ul><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Enhance your intention and ability to live from NVC consciousness</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Explore and practice various skills to enhance quality of life</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Deepen your self awareness and connection to life energy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Cultivate your capabilities of empathic connection and honest expression</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Foster community based on nonviolence with a shared intention to build connection and inspire compassionate giving and receiving</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Enjoy an ongoing opportunity to integrate NVC consciousness in a safe and supportive environment</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><strong><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">We are excited about using the telephone and internet technology available to us to practice Nonviolent Communication with the global diversity of our NVC community! People from all around the world participate in this group.</span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><strong><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Together, we will co-create a community to live nonviolently amid a rich field of practice and integration!</span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><strong><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">We invite you to participate in learning and integration activities designed to utilize the potential for emerging telephone and computer technology:</span></span></strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span style="font-size:100%;"></span></span></span></p><ul><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Two certified trainers (Jim and Jori Manske) anchor this weekly practice group</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Weekly lessons with practice opportunities, grounded in skill development</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Two breakout groups to maximize practice and coaching (each group is facilitated by either Jim or Jori. Participants choose which group they want to participate in each week)</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Opportunities for dyads and small group work with roaming coaches</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Self-assessment Matrix to increase learning</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Audio/visual aids for greater clarity</span></span></li><li style="margin-left: 15px; "><span style="font-family:arial;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Meeting weekly to enhance integration</span></span></span></li></ul><p><span style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">To REGISTER > </span></span></p><span style="font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><table border="2" align="center" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="10"><tbody><tr><td align="left" valign="top" bg="" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;color:#E4F192;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Returning NVC Academy Student?<br /></span><a href="http://nvctraining.com/courses/telecourses/JJM/radical-compassion-20100106/radical-compassion-10-login.php" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">Login and Register</span></a></strong></td><td align="left" valign="top" bg="" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; font-family:arial, sans-serif;color:#FBED86;"><strong><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;">New to NVC Academy? </span><a href="http://nvctraining.com/registration/signup.php?price_group=85293" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><br />Sign-up and Register</span></a></strong></td></tr></tbody></table></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#500050;"><br /></span></div></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-39381546925466243962009-12-18T11:37:00.000-08:002009-12-18T11:40:12.174-08:00<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 36.0px Papyrus"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Dissolving Enemy Images</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Papyrus"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">An Experiential Workshop of Radical Compassion</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Papyrus"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">with CNVC Certified Trainers Jori and Jim Manske</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Maui, December 19, 2009</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">9:15 am - 1:30 pm</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Upcountry Maui</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b><i>Enemy images breed resentment, anger and violence. The costs of sustaining enemy images include physical pain, mental contraction, fear, and isolation. The skills and consciousness of Nonviolent Communication are powerful antidotes to the poison of enemy images.</i></b> </span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">During this mini-workshop we will:</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="font: 12.0px 'Zapf Dingbats'; letter-spacing: 0.0px">❖</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"> Explore the source of enemy images</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="font: 12.0px 'Zapf Dingbats'; letter-spacing: 0.0px">❖</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"> Learn and practice skills of self-compassion to dissolve enemy images</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="font: 12.0px 'Zapf Dingbats'; letter-spacing: 0.0px">❖</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"> Experience befriending the enemy with transformative empathic connection</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Optima"><span style="font: 12.0px 'Zapf Dingbats'; letter-spacing: 0.0px">❖</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"> Gain insight into proactive next steps to forge workable relationships</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">By donation...suggested amount $40-$80. No one turned away for lack of funds.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px">Questions? Connect via Comment</span></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Helvetica, serif;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span></div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-33213055012306988322009-12-02T11:29:00.000-08:002009-12-02T11:35:46.463-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(17, 17, 17); line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><span class="submitted" style=" color: rgb(153, 153, 153); font-size:11px;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Greetings Friends,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Every year, CNVC asks their trainers to prepare a trainer report. Usually, it is due around the beginning of the year, but this year the request was that the 2008 report would be completed by November 30. Here is my report for 2008.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Posted </span><abbr class="created" title="2009-12-01T05:14:47+0700" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: initial; border-bottom- text-decoration: none; color:initial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">December 1st, 2009</span></abbr><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"> by </span><a href="http://www.cnvc.org/en/user/jim-manske" title="View user profile." style="text-decoration: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Jim Manske</span></a></span><div class="content" style=" text-align: left; padding-top: 10px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-size:12px;"><div class="field field-type-text field-field-language"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Language: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">English</span></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-year-of-report"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Year of Report: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">2008</span></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-number-integer field-field-tr-total-training-days"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">100</span></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-groups-served"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Hospitals, medical clinics, Unitarian-Universalist and Methodist Churches, Noetic Science organizations, mediation/conflict resolution organizations, coaching organizations, city/county councils.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-number-integer field-field-tr-total-people-served"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">10000</span></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-celebrate"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I’m appreciative of the many diverse opportunities we enjoyed this year, and the chance to travel to share NVC in new places. I’m especially grateful for the experience of Compassionate Leadership Training. Working with Rodger Sorrow, Kathi Aichner and Jori has been a remarkably fulfilling and enriching experience on many levels. I also enjoyed working with Marshall and Valentina at the Special Session and the March IIT. I continue to savor the practice group via NVC Academy that celebrated its second year in 2008, (and still continues as of Dec 09!) I enjoyed offering our first training via NVC Academy as well, focusing on Conflict.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-hard-experience"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Its difficult for me to connect in the moment with any difficult experiences involving training, per se, mostly because so much time has passed.</span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">In late March, we were just finishing a workshop in Texas, doing a closing round when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. Generally, I ignore such interruptions during training. However, knowing that my Mom had been ill the last time I spoke with her, I glanced at the phone and saw that it was my Dad. I chose to leave the workshop to attend to the call, caring for my Mom, my Dad, and worried about what the call might mean. Of course, it was the call no one likes to receive, and the one we all face at some time. I learned that my Mom’s condition had seriously deteriorated, that she had “died” on the way to the hospital and had been resuscitated. Somehow, I stayed present, listening to my father and the doctor as they explained what had happened and the likely course of events, requesting that I get to Atlanta as soon as possible.I returned to the workshop, giving myself tons of self-compassion, working to stay present in the face of knowing my intentions to leave as soon as possible. I shared with the group what was going on as authentically as I could and received a bath of concern, sympathy, empathy and offers of support.</span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I did have difficulties with my relationship with CNVC’s Admin Team, specifically around the change in form of my relationship as an IIT organizer, LT member and GCC coordinator. I’m mourning how my need for connection and inclusion was not met, especially how I did not “advocate for the Universe" I would like to live in (thanks Jorge for the quote) as well as I would like.</span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I mourn my own tendency to become hynotized by Authority. I mourn how much life energy I squandered perseverating and suffering about people and situations I had no control over. For me, now, its “water under the bridge”, although I’m sad that I do not feel as connected to “CNVC” as I once did. I still relish the sense of connection with the trainer network, especially trainers I get to connect with and play with on a regular basis!</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-spirit-base"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">For me, the essence of NVC is the radical intention to stay present to my feelings and needs from moment-to-moment, to cultivate choice in responding to the messages I receive from others and to honestly, authentically share my experience with others while remaining open to receiving their responses with an empathic heart. I work to convey this spiritual clarity in my training through the natural modeling that occurs as a result of my ongoing integration of NVC and by sharing this intention verbally through the spoken and written word.</span></span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I don’t believe that you can teach the spiritual basis in any “real” way, since the spiritual basis is our very nature. Teaching implies imparting something that was previously absent. How can you teach something that is eternally Present?</span></span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My job as a trainer seems to be to remind people of their birthright: who they are, delicious, juicy ever-changing human beings; what they know, deep in their hearts; and to offer tools to help folks remove the barriers to the Presence of their own spiritual clarity that is always here and now and integrate that consciousness more fully into their lives.</span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;"><br /></span></span></span></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-change-social"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">G. Please describe your social change goals...: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My dream is to continue to work creating trainings and opportunities for the next generation of NVC leaders. I’m also intending to continue our social change projects in the medical field, the restorative justice arena, and through community building wherever we go. NVC remains the language, the skill set and the consciousness that anchors my work. Reframing power dynamics through peeling layers of submission and domination remains the framework for my work in social change.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-circle-community"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">H. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My term as co-leader of the GCC concluded at the end of June. For the previous year and half that dominated much of my time, averaging over 20 hours per week on a volunteer basis. I intended to continue to support the GCC as a consultant, and there were other requests that made it clear that was not desired, at least not initially.I shifted my attention to other projects, focusing on building a circle of NVC leaders via Compassionate Leadership. I also continue to participate in NVC communities, fostering connection and mutual support in various locations, especially New Mexico, southern California, Texas, Georgia, Edmonton and Hawaii.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-feedback"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">People continue to express appreciation for the contribution of our work.If you want to hear or see more, see the testimonials on compassionateleadershiptraining.com</span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">Since so much time has elapsed since 2008, its hard for me to recall specifics as I (hopefully) have integrated the feedback that I have received.</span></p><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I have learned to more enjoy making mistakes. It continues to be a challenge to co-train, even though Jori and I have done that for several years. Talk about an ever-receding edge! Adding two new trainers to the mix (Rodger and Kathi), acted like an accelerant to my own integration. Working with the CNVC leadership provided ample opportunities for me to discover how easy it is to get addicted to a strategy and how powerful NVC can be to become liberated from addictive patterns!</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-challange"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">J. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">My edges are around balancing self-care, saying “no”, and cultivating the willingness to express my needs and requests.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-work-w-trainers"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">K. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I have shared training in 08 with many folks. I’m most touched by how Kathi, Rodger, Jori and I created a working relationship that fostered mutuality, interdependence and remarkable ease as we planned and implemented our first extended training community.</span></p></div></div></div><div class="field field-type-text field-field-tr-additional-comments"><div class="field-label" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">L. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: </span></div><div class="field-items"><div class="field-item odd"><p style="padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.3em; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#C0C0C0;">I remain grateful to be sharing the mission and vision of CNVC with a growing cadre of “family”. I mourn how slowly our organization seems to respond to the needs of the training network. I wish folks pivoting social change project in regions of the world with less access to resources (eg Brazil, Aftica) received more direct support from CNVC in the form of grant-writing and flowing resources from wealthy countries to less affluent nations and areas. I wish the CNVC leadership teams (Admin Team, Board, Office staff, etc) will easily receive an abundance of the empathy, understanding and love that they need in order to thrive!</span></p></div></div></div></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-19598929055738227312009-11-17T14:43:00.000-08:002009-11-17T14:52:18.228-08:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dear Friends,</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Greetings from the Heart of the Pacific! We've arrived in Maui and are beginning to settle in here for the next few months. I'm adjusting to the various differences in lifestyle. One challenge is the rain, the apparently incessant rain here in Upcountry Maui. Since we arrived about a week ago, I'm guessing there has been at least 10 inches of rain, more than we get in an entire year in Albuquerque.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We finished CL09 earlier this month andI'm still savoring the De-Lights of Compassionate Leadership-the community, the connection, the integration, growth and learning...</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">And, I'm looking forward to next year's program, even as the communities from 08 and 09 continue!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">One skill that we intentionally include in CL is the Compassionate Leadership Plan. For me, having a plan at various points in my life has deeply supported my intentions and motivated my movement toward creating the world I want to live in. I was inspired this morning by an article I read in the NY Times about how transformative a plan can be. I wonder how reading it will affect you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I'd love to hear your responses!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Peace,</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Jim</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-family:Georgia, serif;"><h1 style="font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><nyt_headline version="1.0" type=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Triumph of a Dreamer</span></span></nyt_headline></h1><div id="toolsRight"><div class="articleTools" style="border-left-width: 1px; border-left-style: solid; border-left-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); border-right-width: 1px; border-right-style: solid; border-right-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); float: right; margin-top: 5px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 5px; width: 130px; "><div class="toolsContainer" style="position: relative; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; border-top-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); "><ul class="toolsList" id="toolsList" style="margin-top: 9px; margin-right: 12px; margin-bottom: 7px; margin-left: 14px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: initial; clear: both; "><li class="print" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: none; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.4em; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/opinion/15kristof.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all" style="text-decoration: none; "></a></span></span><li id="shareMenu" class="closed" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 1px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 0px; list-style-type: none; list-style-position: initial; list-style-image: none; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 1.4em; text-transform: uppercase; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(234, 232, 233); height: 16px !important; width: 168px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/opinion/15kristof.html?_r=1#" class="hidden" style="text-decoration: none; display: block; line-height: 13px; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; outline-color: initial; opacity: 0; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">CLOSE</span></span></a></li></ul><div id="adxToolSponsor" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div></div></div></div><nyt_byline version="1.0" type=" "><div class="byline" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">By </span></span><a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/opinion/editorialsandoped/oped/columnists/nicholasdkristof/index.html?inline=nyt-per" title="More Articles by Nicholas D. Kristof" style="text-decoration: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF</span></span></a></div><div class="byline" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><img src="webkit-fake-url://74A3B273-C078-4D03-A304-F4B240A445BD/ts-kristof-190.jpg" alt="ts-kristof-190.jpg" /></span></span></p></div></nyt_byline><div class="timestamp" style="font-weight: normal; font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Published: November 14, 2009</span></span></div><div class="timestamp" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="timestamp" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; font-family:arial, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">http://www.nytimes.com/2009/</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><wbr>11/15/opinion/15kristof.html?_</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><wbr>r=1</span></span></span></div><div class="timestamp" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div id="articleBody" style=" line-height: 1.5em; font-size:23px;"><nyt_text><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Any time anyone tells you that a dream is impossible, any time you’re discouraged by impossible challenges, just mutter this mantra:</span></span><span class="italic" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> Tererai Trent</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Of all the people earning university degrees this year, perhaps the most remarkable story belongs to Tererai (pronounced TEH-reh-rye), a middle-aged woman who is one of my heroes. She is celebrating a personal triumph, but she’s also a monument to the aid organizations and individuals who helped her. When you hear that foreign-aid groups just squander money or build dependency, remember that by all odds Tererai should be an illiterate, battered cattle-herd in Zimbabwe and instead — ah, but I’m getting ahead of my story.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Tererai was born in a village in rural Zimbabwe, probably sometime in 1965, and attended elementary school for less than one year. Her father married her off when she was about 11 to a man who beat her regularly. She seemed destined to be one more squandered African asset.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">A dozen years passed. Jo Luck, the head of an aid group called Heifer International, passed through the village and told the women there that they should stand up, nurture dreams, change their lives.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Inspired, Tererai scribbled down four absurd goals based on accomplishments she had vaguely heard of among famous Africans. She wrote that she wanted to study abroad, and to earn a B.A., a master’s and a doctorate.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Tererai began to work for Heifer and several Christian organizations as a community organizer. She used the income to take correspondence courses, while saving every penny she could.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">In 1998 she was accepted to Oklahoma State University, but she insisted on taking all five of her children with her rather than leave them with her husband. “I couldn’t abandon my kids,” she recalled. “I knew that they might end up getting married off.”</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Tererai’s husband eventually agreed that she could take the children to America — as long as he went too. Heifer helped with the plane tickets, Tererai’s mother sold a cow, and neighbors sold goats to help raise money. With $4,000 in cash wrapped in a stocking and tied around her waist, Tererai set off for Oklahoma.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">An impossible dream had come true, but it soon looked like a nightmare. Tererai and her family had little money and lived in a ramshackle trailer, shivering and hungry. Her husband refused to do any housework — he was a man! — and coped by beating her.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">“There was very little food,” she said. “The kids would come home from school, and they would be hungry.” Tererai found herself eating from trash cans, and she thought about quitting — but felt that doing so would let down other African women.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">“I knew that I was getting an opportunity that other women were dying to get,” she recalled. So she struggled on, holding several jobs, taking every class she could, washing and scrubbing, enduring beatings, barely sleeping.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">At one point the university tried to expel Tererai for falling behind on tuition payments. A university official, Ron Beer, intervened on her behalf and rallied the faculty and community behind her with donations and support.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">“I saw that she had enormous talent,” Dr. Beer said. His church helped with food, Habitat for Humanity provided housing, and a friend at Wal-Mart carefully put expired fruits and vegetables in boxes beside the Dumpster and tipped her off.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Soon afterward, Tererai had her husband deported back to Zimbabwe for beating her, and she earned her B.A. — and started on her M.A. Then her husband returned, now frail and sick with a disease that turned out to be AIDS. Tererai tested negative for H.I.V., and then — feeling sorry for her husband — she took in her former tormentor and nursed him as he grew sicker and eventually died.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Through all this blur of pressures, Tererai excelled at school, pursuing a Ph.D at Western Michigan University and writing a dissertation on AIDS prevention in Africa even as she began working for Heifer as a program evaluator. On top of all that, she was remarried, to Mark Trent, a plant pathologist she had met at Oklahoma State.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Tererai is a reminder of the adage that talent is universal, while opportunity is not. There are still 75 million children who are not attending primary school around the world. We could educate them all for far less than the cost of the proposed military “surge” in Afghanistan.</span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Each time Tererai accomplished one of those goals that she had written long ago, she checked it off on that old, worn paper. Last month, she ticked off the very last goal, after successfully defending her dissertation. She’ll receive her Ph.D next month, and so a one-time impoverished cattle-herd from Zimbabwe with less than a year of elementary school education will don academic robes and become Dr. Tererai Trent.</span></span></p><nyt_author_id><div id="authorId" style="clear: both; font-style: italic; "></div></nyt_author_id><p></p></nyt_text></div></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFFF;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-75746694732990862632009-10-26T08:37:00.000-07:002009-10-26T08:38:48.588-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 21px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 31px; "><h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; line-height: 1.5em; background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/rounders/icon_arrow.gif); background-repeat: no-repeat; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; display: block; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: dotted; border-right-style: dotted; border-bottom-style: dotted; border-left-style: dotted; border-top-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-right-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-left-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); padding-top: 2px; padding-right: 14px; padding-bottom: 2px; padding-left: 29px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font: normal normal bold 135%/normal 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; background-position: 10px 0.5em; "><a href="http://integrationtraining.blogspot.com/2009/10/nvc-in-organisations.html" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); text-decoration: none; ">NVC in Organisations</a></h3><div class="post-header-line-1"></div><div class="post-body entry-content" style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-style: dotted; border-right-style: dotted; border-bottom-style: dotted; border-left-style: dotted; border-top-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-right-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-left-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 14px; padding-bottom: 1px; padding-left: 29px; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; "><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQeYFdNQsL-zrR5wFpLlxZUIaz-oxwCfzci_zu7XC2uiTfcNvhMInL82kVhBBamgbl41mM-tR6Q-hHoXBytRmj2RjCOXLBQseeQDa-lrto9PG_mDeagqOwJPF0O1wQabrv8Yo/s1600-h/Gina_Lawrie.jpg" style="color: rgb(34, 85, 136); "><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5396315902335167042" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQeYFdNQsL-zrR5wFpLlxZUIaz-oxwCfzci_zu7XC2uiTfcNvhMInL82kVhBBamgbl41mM-tR6Q-hHoXBytRmj2RjCOXLBQseeQDa-lrto9PG_mDeagqOwJPF0O1wQabrv8Yo/s400/Gina_Lawrie.jpg" border="0" style="border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; padding-top: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; border-top-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-right-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-bottom-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); border-left-color: rgb(187, 187, 187); float: right; width: 153px; height: 201px; " /></a>I stumbled upon this today via google alerts...</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.75em; margin-left: 0px; ">I hope you find it inspiring, clarifying and meaningful.</p><div>.............................</div><br /><div><br /><span style="font-size: 27px; "><strong>NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION IN ORGANISATIONS:</strong><br /></span><strong><span style="font-size: 27px; ">moving from a mechanistic to a systemic view<br />by Gina Lawrie</span></strong><br /></div><br /><div><strong>Introduction<br /></strong></div><br /><div>The purpose of this article is to outline the process of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and to describe some of the ways I believe it can help individuals and organisations to be more connected and build the sort of communities we would like to inhabit in the new millennium. If, as result of reading it, you are either interested in finding out more about NVC or you take away an insight that could make a small difference in your life, I will be satisfied.</div><br /><div><br /><strong>Setting the Scene<br /></strong></div><br /><div>In communication workshops that I run in organisations, I often ask people to describe the characteristics and qualities of communication that they enjoy, find satisfying and motivating. I then ask them to describe the characteristics of communication they do not enjoy which leaves them feeling unsatisfied and lacking motivation. Participants then cluster the ideas under the two headings. This works well on post-Its. Sadly, when I ask,many people say they experience most communication at work as displaying the group of characteristics they don’t enjoy. It can be fascinating to consider why so many of us continue to operate in ways that don’t bring us enjoyment or fulfilment but I am even more interested in how to change this. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a simple, yet powerful tool which provides concrete steps to create communication that is both enjoyable and effective and thus of benefit to both individuals and organisations.<br /></div><br /><div><strong>The Process of Nonviolent Communication<br /></strong></div><br /><div>NVC is a model of communication developed by Marshall Rosenberg (1999) in response to violence he witnessed in the USA in the 1950’s. He searched for a way to help people to communicate with respect, compassion and honesty and thus gain more enjoyment out of life.</div><div></div><br /><div>Learning this process is like learning a language, the language of compassion, and this involves unlearning the language that many of us have been brought up with which is based on judgement, blame and being right!<br /></div><br /><div>The language of NVC is designed to help us express our feelings and needs clearly in such a way that we and those listening to us can connect more easily with these aspects of ourselves. Training in NVC builds our awareness of how to stay connected to the humanity of ourselves and others. It offers specific tools for staying in this mode even when things get tough, when conflict is in the air, or when the other person does not know the NVC process.</div><br /><div><br />There are four steps which together increase the likelihood that communication will be expressed and received with compassion and that those involved will get their needs met:</div><br /><div><strong>1) OBSERVATION.</strong><br />Observations are expressions of what serves as a stimulus for our reactions. The closer we stay to concrete and specific descriptions of the sort that would be captured by a video camera, the more likely we are to be heard. The challenge in this step is to separate observation from evaluation, judgement or interpretation, e.g. “When I see you sitting behind your desk on the ‘phone moving papers and swearing....” rather than “When I see how harassed and disorganised you are”. You can imagine how the latter comment mightlead to a defensive or attacking response and using NVC, we aim to express ourselves in a way most likely to be heard with compassion rather than defensiveness.<br /><strong>2) FEELINGS</strong><br />In our western culture in particular we often express thoughts or judgements rather than<br />our emotions because of the language we have learned. So in NVC we express an<br />emotion such as “I feel upset / worried / pleased “ rather than, “I feel that .....” or “I feel<br />like...........” . Training in NVC extends our feeling vocabulary and helps us connect with<br />our emotional selves.<br /><strong>3) NEEDS</strong><br />Many of us are even less articulate when it comes to expressing needs. Our culture tends<br />to teach us to associate it with being selfish or “needy”. The most powerful insight I<br />obtained learning NVC was the causal link between feelings and needs. To recognise that<br />my feelings are not caused by another person’s actions, but by whether or not my needs<br />are being met. So, in NVC we would say: “I feel ...... because I need/would like.... and<br />then express a core human need, which may be physical, social or spiritual, e.g. food,<br />warmth, company, support, peace, beauty. By expressing a general need which all<br />humans have we leave out any specific people or circumstances and this creates an<br />openness as to how the need may be met. An example is: “I need honesty and mutuality<br />in my working relationships” rather than, “I need you to stop covering up what’s really<br />going on”. It is at this step of connecting at the level of needs that resolution of conflict<br />or prevention of potential conflict becomes possible.<br /><strong>4) REQUESTS</strong><br />The last element is to state what we would like to happen and by whom that would meet<br />our need. In this step it is very important to be very specific and also state the request in<br />the positive, e.g. “Would you be willing to type this report by Friday at 10 am?”<br />There are two directions of the NVC process that both use these four steps: expressing<br />and receiving. Our aim is to create a communication dance where one person expresses<br />themselves then listens for the four steps in the others response, even when feelings and<br />needs are deeply hidden in the language they use. This is the outer process of NVC.<br />What often gets in the way is our own inner dialogue. This may be the judgements we<br />make about others e.g. “He should be more considerate and it’s not fair that he always<br />gets his own way!” or the judgements we make about ourselves, e.g. “I’ve messed up<br />again, what an idiot I am, I’m just not up to this type of work!”. These judgements are a<br />sign that we are not connected with our own feelings and needs and hence we will not be<br />able to connect with others, either to express our feelings and needs or to hear those of<br />the other person. To shift this and get us connected to our feelings and needs we use the<br />inner process of NVC, applying the four steps within.<br /></div><br /><div>Let us take an example: I am running a workshop and one of the participants says, “This<br />isn’t relevant to the real work situation”. I may judge them as ignorant, arrogant or<br />uncooperative which will probably result in me attacking them, albeit in a subtle way.<br />Alternatively I may judge myself as incompetent, having misjudged my audience and this<br />is likely to result in me becoming defensive. In either case, I could be on a road to further<br />disconnection with that participant. To avoid this road, I can apply the four steps of NVC<br />to connect with my own feelings and needs and notice that when I hear the participant say<br />“This isn’t relevant to the real work situation”(step 1), I feel anxious and nervous (step 2)<br />because I would really like to contribute to the learning of all participants and because I<br />need acknowledgement for the experience I bring and trust that my workshop design will<br />fulfil the objectives we set (step 3). So what I would really like right now is to find out<br />what would help this participant see the relevance (step 4).<br /></div><br /><div>Now, I am free to return to the outer process and begin to ‘dance’, by saying: “So are you<br />feeling worried because you would like to know that spending this time at this workshop<br />will make a difference to the real issues you face at work, and would you like me to tell<br />you the way in which I see what we are doing as relevant?”<br /></div><br /><div>If the participant remains frustrated and says some more that I could interpret as critical, I<br />may need to go back to the inner process and hear my own feelings and needs again, then<br />back to the outer process, continuing to hear their feelings and needs. My experience is<br />that when I apply NVC to my inner process, getting in touch with my feelings and needs<br />brings about a shift in my energy away from judgement and blame. This allows me to<br />express myself without any hint of that judgement creeping through so that I am more<br />likely to be heard compassionately by the other person. Or it allows me to hear the other<br />persons feelings and needs with compassion. There are some general guidelines for<br />choosing which side of the dance to start with. In many cases, it works best to start with<br />hearing the other person because that increases the chances of getting heard oneself.<br />Describing the process in this way seems far from truly portraying what is involved.<br />Seeing it in action and trying it out brings it to life in a way that words on a page cannot.<br />As I mentioned earlier, learning NVC is not easy and becoming fluent in any new<br />language takes practice but I see it as the most powerful approach in my consultants<br />toolkit to help managers and staff to create the sort of organisation in which they wish to<br />work.</div><div><br />So now I will turn to the application of NVC in my work and give you a variety of<br />references at the end and ways to find out more if you are interested.<br /></div><br /><div><strong>Observations from my Work<br /></strong></div><br /><div>I have been working as an organisation consultant helping managers bring change to<br />private, public and voluntary sector organisations for 15 years. I am well aware of the<br />range of fads and fashions in change programmes and have been influenced by some. I<br />am also very aware of their lack of success. One of the key reasons in my experience is<br />that people may change at an intellectual level, but not at an emotional level. As a result,<br />their behaviour is often inconsistent. Managers often do not model the behaviour they<br />espouse and staff are unclear what grand statements of values such as “ effective<br />teamwork”, “continuous improvement”, “empowering our staff” mean they will DO<br />differently. I have found the model of NVC helps managers and teams to understand<br />where judgements they make of themselves and others blocks changes in their behaviour.<br />It also provides a concrete framework for making changes.<br /></div><br /><div>It is rare to find organisations in which feedback is given and received skilfully and yet,<br />without it, how can we expect people to change their behaviour? If only “good news” is<br />delivered, it is difficult to trust the conveyor of news and if only “bad news” is delivered,<br />people feel demoralised and unmotivated. NVC provides a framework for the giving and<br />receiving of honest, balanced and constructive feedback. By telling the other person how<br />we feel and what need of ours is met or not met when we observe their behaviour,<br />feedback becomes more meaningful and is easier to hear.</div><div><br />In the field of organisational change there is an increasing recognition that the context is<br />global transformation. This has a number of aspects such as: globalisation of the<br />economy, the explosion of communication and information technology, shifts in value<br />systems, increased scientific knowledge about chaos and complexity, ecological crisis<br />and a reassertion of human spirituality. The essence of any transformation is a dichotomy<br />between the excitement of creativity, opportunity and liberation and the fear of change,<br />loss and threat of unpredictability. People managing and working in organisations are<br />struggling to understand, to find new ways of perceiving based on new paradigms and to<br />learn the skills to survive and thrive. These are the life skills of NVC.<br /></div><br /><div><strong>Moving from a mechanistic to a systemic view of organisations<br /></strong></div><br /><div>The metaphor of a machine has been used to understand and to structure organisations<br />since the 1950’s. The characteristics associated are: routine, efficiency, predictability,<br />division of labour and a static nature. These characteristics are fine for organisations<br />whose tasks are simple in stable environments. There are not many of these nowadays<br />and the price we have paid is dehumanisation of people in the workplace. As a result,<br />many have become alienated from nature, from each other and from themselves. As<br />organisations become increasingly complex and the rate of change increases and things<br />are less predictable there has been frenetic activity, but often the activity is “more of the<br />same” and the result is failure or burnout.</div><div><br />Now we are seeing a transition to the use of a different metaphor, that of the organisation<br />as an organism, a living system. This metaphor has the advantage of recognising the<br />organisation as an “open system” in relation to its environment, the influence of life<br />cycles, issues of survival, the concept of organisational health. The characteristics of<br />organisations seen in this way are creative, responsive and dynamic. With this viewpoint<br />caring, feelings and ecological and spiritual awareness can become part of life in an<br />organisation and human beings can again be fully themselves at work. Our<br />interconnectedness with each other and the environment is acknowledged. NVC is a way<br />of encouraging this transition by connecting to our inner selves, to each other and to the<br />environment around us through identifying how we are and how others are in terms of<br />feelings and needs, and how we can better collaborate with each other to meet more and<br />more needs and to increase satisfaction and fulfilment.<br /><br />We might think that it would be easy to make this paradigm shift, however, this is not<br />proving to be the case because increased interconnectedness and complexity in<br />organisations brings increased uncertainty and resulting anxiety. Uri Merry (1995) has<br />pointed out that if the quality of relationships does not match the degree of<br />interdependence, if we do not behave in a more responsible, cooperative and empathic<br />way, uncertainty will increase even further and conflict, crisis and domination will ensue.<br />NVC gives us a language which enables us to connect and build relationships at this<br />empathic level, providing the foundation for working with diversity and uncertainty.<br />NVC can help leaders of organisations who experience a particular challenge to shift<br />within themselves and become less reliant on formulas and programmed change and to<br />tune in more to their own judgement and intuition. Leaders need to be free to make<br />choices and decisions based on the present not on past expectations or constraints and to<br />move from management by fear and blame to management by collaboration and respect.<br />This can be developed by NVC training.<br /></div><br /><div><strong>Personal transformation<br /></strong></div><br /><div>My work with NVC has taken me on a journey of personal transformation and given me<br />the tools to fill many gaps I had previously found in my personal development work. The<br />application of the four steps to connect with myself has helped me to ease up on the<br />judgements I make of myself as well as of others. I have found myself handling<br />situations of conflict and aggression in ways that I am proud of and being able to<br />facilitate increased understanding between people has increased my confidence in such<br />situations.</div><div><br />As a consultant, my role is to influence and facilitate; ideas of “managing” change are not<br />compatible with seeing the organisation as a living system. In this role, I can make the<br />greatest difference by being fully present, giving my attention in order to connect with<br />people and help them to communicate with each other in ways that are satisfying and<br />motivating: NVC helps me to do that by putting me in touch with my own and others<br />present feelings and needs. I am finding that it is a very powerful tool to help people in<br />organisations to achieve the transformation I have been describing in this paper.<br /></div><br /><div>Gina Lawrie has a background in psychology, social work and management<br />development. She is an experienced organisation development consultant working in<br />public, private and not for profit sectors. Gina works with the Centre for Nonviolent<br />Communication as a certified trainer and seeks to apply the skills of NVC in both her<br />work and personal life.<br /></div><br /><div>She can be contacted on Tel:01252 728242, gl@ykw.com, www.ginalawrie.co.uk<br />More information about the Center for Nonviolent Communication can be found at:<br /><a href="http://www.cnvc.org/" style="color: rgb(34, 85, 136); ">http://www.cnvc.org/</a></div><div><br /><em><span style="font-size: 18px; ">References:<br />Belgrave, B. Communication That Simply Works. Organisations & People, August 1998<br />Vol 5. No 3, pages 27-32<br />6<br />Belgrave, B. Workbook: NVC - Key Ingredients. Organisations & People, February<br />1999 Vol 6. No 1, pages 29-33<br />Merry, U. (1995) Coping With Uncertainty: Insights from the New Sciences of Chaos,<br />Self-Organization, and Complexity. Praeger, Westport, USA<br />Nixon, B. (1998) Making A Difference: Strategies and Real Time Models to Transform<br />Your Organisation. Gilmour Drummond Publishing, Cambridge, England.<br />Rosenberg, M. (1999) Nonviolent Communication - A Language of Compassion.<br />Puddledancer Press, Del Mar, Calif:<br />Audiovisual materials available online from www.Life-Resources-shop.com or 0845<br />458 0996</span></em></div><div><em><span style="font-size: 18px; "><br /></span><span style="font-size: 21px; "><strong>POINTS FOR TRAINERS</strong><br />• Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a simple yet profound communication process<br />which helps to create communication that is both effective and enjoyable. It was<br />developed by Marshalll Rosenberg whose work grew from his experience of<br />interracial conflicts in Detroit, USA.<br />• NVC can be of benefit to individuals, teams or groups and organisations and<br />provides a framework for behavioural and cultural change.<br />• Learning NVC is like learning a language and also involves ‘unlearning’ habitual<br />ways of communicating which prevent connection between people.<br />• NVC is particularly effective in helping us to manage conflict and difference,<br />increasing the likelihood that the needs of both people in an interchange will be met.<br />It is also effective in developing strong relationships for teamwork.<br />• Nonviolent Communication training is available from trainers certified by the Center<br />for Nonviolent Communication. There are approximately 60 trainers providing<br />training and mediation in 25 countries worldwide, in organisations of all kinds:<br />businesses, schools, prisons, healthcare providers as well as families and couples.<br />Published in: Training & Management Development methods, Vol 14, 2000, pp4.01-4.08,<br />MCB University Press, 0951-3507</span></em></div></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-17244513997963050982009-09-06T20:15:00.001-07:002009-09-06T20:15:40.696-07:00http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/8201512.stm<br /><br /><div class="mxb"> <h1> Compassion plea after cycle death </h1> </div> <!-- S BO --> <!-- S IIMA --> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" align="right" width="226"> <tbody><tr><td> <div> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45490000/jpg/_45490569_kateauchterlonie282other.jpg" alt="Kate Auchterlonie" border="0" height="282" hspace="0" vspace="0" width="226" /> <div class="cap">Kate Auchterlonie had a love of horses and was a keen amateur athlete</div> </div> </td></tr> </tbody></table> <!-- E IIMA --> <!-- S SF --><p class="first"><b>The family of a cyclist killed in a collision with a car has asked a court to show compassion for the driver.</b></p><p>Howard Owen, 29, ran into Kate Auchterlonie, 28, from Cardiff, as she rode her bicycle on the A469 mountain road near Caerphilly in February. </p><p>The judge at Newport Crown Court said her family wanted generosity, which was characteristic of her life. </p><p>Owen, of Caerphilly, who had admitted causing death by careless driving, received a suspended prison sentence. </p><!-- E SF --><p>As well as the nine-month suspended sentence, Owen was also banned from driving for two years and given 150 hours' community work. </p><p>Owen said he could not explain why he had failed to see Miss Auchterlonie. </p><p>Prosecutor Michael Mather-Lees said other drivers said their vision was affected by strong sun on the morning of the crash on 17 February. </p><p>He said there was no suggestion that Owen had been speeding on the 40mph speed limit road.</p> <!-- S IBOX --> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" align="right" width="231"> <tbody><tr> <td width="5"><img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/shared/img/o.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" hspace="0" vspace="0" width="5" /></td> <td class="sibtbg"> <div class="o"> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/46207000/jpg/_46207161_howardowen282pa.jpg" alt="Howard Owen" border="0" height="170" hspace="0" vspace="0" width="226" /> </div> <div> <div class="mva"> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/img/v3/start_quote_rb.gif" alt="" border="0" height="13" width="24" /> <b>He makes no excuses at all and was determined to plead guilty at the first opportunity</b> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/img/v3/end_quote_rb.gif" alt="" border="0" height="13" align="right" vspace="0" width="23" /><br /> </div> </div> <div class="mva"> <div>Hilary Roberts, defending</div> </div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> <!-- E IBOX --> <p>The prosecution said he should have had seven seconds in which to see her. </p><p>"As a result of the collision, police attended very quickly as did the other emergency services," said Mr Mather-Lees. </p><p>"On arrest Mr Owen stated: 'I don't know why I didn't see her.' In interview he said he used the road daily or regularly and was not in a hurry and was travelling at 40mph. </p><p>"He had lowered his sun visor and he did not see Miss Auchterlonie. Plainly as a result of that he collided with her and the offence was committed. </p><p><b>Post-traumatic stress</b></p><p>"He pleaded guilty at the earliest opportunity." </p><p>Hilary Roberts, defending, said Owen, a customs and excise worker, was not using the sun as an excuse, had not driven since and was suffering the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. </p><p>He had also been prescribed anti-depressants following the crash, the court heard. </p><p>"This is a tragic case in anybody's language," he said. </p><p>"The defendant is acutely aware that he has pleaded guilty to this offence and has always strived to do so. I know the court will grant him credit for that. </p><p>"He makes no excuses at all and was determined to plead guilty at the first opportunity."</p> <!-- S IBOX --> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" align="right" width="231"> <tbody><tr> <td width="5"><img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/shared/img/o.gif" alt="" border="0" height="1" hspace="0" vspace="0" width="5" /></td> <td class="sibtbg"> <div> <div class="mva"> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/img/v3/start_quote_rb.gif" alt="" border="0" height="13" width="24" /> <b>This clearly has had a profound affect on your own life</b> <img src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/img/v3/end_quote_rb.gif" alt="" border="0" height="13" align="right" vspace="0" width="23" /><br /> </div> </div> <div class="mva"> <div>Judge Roderick Denyer to Howard Owen</div> </div> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> <!-- E IBOX --> <p>Mr Roberts said the accident was caused by a "momentary lapse in concentration". </p><p>Judge Roderick Denyer said Owen still could not really understand why he did not see Miss Auchterlonie in the road. </p><p>There was also some evidence that the sun was making things difficult for motorists at the time, said the judge. </p><p>"It is clear and obvious from the references I have read and the pre-sentence report that you feel deep remorse and this clearly has had a profound affect on your own life," said Judge Denyer. </p><p>He referred to a statement by Miss Auchterlonie's family, asking the court to show the compassion and generosity that was characteristic of her life. </p><p>The court heard that Victim Support was trying to arrange a meeting between her family and Owen as part of a restorative justice programme. </p><p>The judge also praised both families for their dignified silence in court. </p><p>After the hearing, the family of Miss Auchterlonie released a statement which said: "No sentence can ever make up for what we feel at losing Kate. </p><p>"Regarding the restorative justice process, we will be working with Victim Support to see what is best for both parties. It is not something that we want to make a public statement about." </p>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-53867579892062910612009-08-26T19:54:00.000-07:002009-08-26T19:55:19.357-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; "><h1 class="story_headline" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; "><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><a href="http://www.CourierNewsOnline.com/"><img src="webkit-fake-url://7A9494FE-E30C-4700-AA02-C8E0E8A39F00/www.CourierNewsOnline.com.gif" alt="www.CourierNewsOnline.com.gif" /></a></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"><br /></p></h1><h1 class="story_headline" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; ">Caring doctor is the best Rx</h1><div>from: http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733793,4_5_JO26_COLDS_S1-090826.article</div><h3 class="story_subhead" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; ">Study: Kindness better than drugs for treating colds</h3><div class="StoryInteract" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-top-style: dotted; border-top-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: dotted; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 0px; "><a href="http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733793,4_5_JO26_COLDS_S1-090826.article#Comments_Container" class="IconOnTag IconComments" style="background-image: url(http://media.suntimes.com/images/cds/icons/comments.png); background-repeat: no-repeat; padding-left: 20px; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 102, 153); padding-top: 1px; padding-bottom: 1px; font-size: 12px; background-position: 0% 50%; ">Comments</a></div><br /><div class="date" style="color: rgb(95, 95, 95); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; padding-bottom: 10px; ">August 26, 2009<br /></div><div class="byline" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; ">By DENISE M. BARAN-UNLAND For The Herald News</div><p>Purge your medicine cabinet of cold medication and find yourself a doctor who empathizes with you during times of illness. You may recover faster.</p><p>A new study conducted by the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health published in the July issue of Family Medicine found people recover faster from the common cold when their doctor is compassionate. The research focused on 350 patients from primary care clinics in southern Wisconsin.</p><div class="sidebar" style="border-right-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; width: 175px; float: left; padding-right: 8px; padding-bottom: 5px; margin-bottom: 13px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 5px; display: inline; position: relative; "><div class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; ">» <a href="javascript:dc_popup_win('http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733826,JO26_COLDS_P1.fullimage',%20'fullimage',%20'toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,width=650,height=650')" class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; text-decoration: none; ">Click to enlarge image</a></div><a href="javascript:dc_popup_win('http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733826,JO26_COLDS_P1.fullimage',%20'fullimage',%20'toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,width=650,height=650')" class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(51, 102, 153); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://media1.suburbanchicagonews.com/multimedia/JO26_COLDS_P1_scn_feed_20090825_14_57_05_26066-130-165.imageContent" height="130" width="165" border="0" class="IMG" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; " /></a><div class="caption" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">A new study published in the July issue of Family Medicine found people recover faster from the common cold when their doctor is compassionate.<br /><span class="credit" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-style: italic; ">(Sun-Times News Group File photo)</span></div><br /><div class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; ">» <a href="javascript:dc_popup_win('http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733826,JO26_COLDS_P1.fullimage',%20'fullimage',%20'toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,width=650,height=650')" class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; text-decoration: none; ">Click to enlarge image</a></div><a href="javascript:dc_popup_win('http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/lifestyles/1733826,JO26_COLDS_P1.fullimage',%20'fullimage',%20'toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status=no,menubar=no,scrollbars=no,resizable=no,width=650,height=650')" class="enlarge_pic" style="color: rgb(51, 102, 153); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; text-decoration: none; "><img src="http://media1.suburbanchicagonews.com/multimedia/JO26_COLDS_P1_scn_feed_20090825_14_57_05_26066-130-165.imageContent" height="130" width="165" border="0" class="IMG" style="border-top-width: 1px; border-right-width: 1px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-right-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-bottom-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-left-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); border-top-style: solid; border-right-style: solid; border-bottom-style: solid; border-left-style: solid; " /></a><div class="caption" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; font-size: 11px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); ">A new study published in the July issue of Family Medicine found people recover faster from the common cold when their doctor is compassionate.<br /><span class="credit" style="color: rgb(128, 128, 128); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; font-style: italic; ">(Sun-Times News Group File photo)</span></div><br /><div id="section_label" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; padding-top: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; ">RELATED STORIES</div><span class="reddot" style="font-family: verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: rgb(153, 0, 0); ">• </span><a href="javascript:void(window.open('http://www.stfm.org/fmhub/toc.cfm?xmlFileName=fm2009/fammedvol41issue7.xml','_blank','width=788,height=598,status=1,navigation=1,scrollbars=1,resizable=1,toolbar=1,location=1'));" class="smheads" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 102, 153); "><b id="red" style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0); ">Online: </b>Family Medicine July issue</a><br /></div><p>Researchers found participants encountered three types of doctors: ones who did not interact with the patient, ones who provided the standard discussion of medical history and current illness, and ones where the doctor delved deeper into the nature of the illness and displayed concern for the patient.</p><p>The patients rated their doctors on a questionnaire using the following criteria: Did the doctor make them feel at ease, allow them to tell their side of the story and listen closely to the answer, understand what they said, act positive, provide clear explanations, and help them take control by creating an action plan?</p><p>The 84 patients who gave their doctors a perfect score in these areas recovered from their cold a full day before the other patients did, thus skipping the gastro-intestinal side effects some cold medicines may impart.</p><p>Also, when researchers measured the immune cells in the secretions from the nasal washes, these 84 patients built immunity to their cold within 48 hours after their first visit.</p><div class="story_subhead" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; ">Results not surprising</div>Dr. David Rakel, director of integrative medicine and lead author of the study, concluded that being kind to people fought a cold better than zinc, vitamin C and anti-viral medications did.<p>The results of this study did not surprise Dr. Joan Covault, family practitioner with the Provena Medical Group in New Lenox or Lauren Diegel-Vacek, assistant professor at the College of Nursing and Health Professions at Lewis University in Romeoville.</p><p>Both Covault and Diegel-Vacek said that cultivating an empathetic attitude was part of their medical training and they've witnessed encouraging results by practicing it.</p><p>"If I take the time to actually listen to the patient's story and show not only empathy for them, but true compassion, I think that does a lot to speed the healing process," Covault said.</p><p>Covault said when patients feel no one listens to them, a negative attitude develops within them and they may be sick longer than if they believe someone cares about them.</p><p>"There is a lot to be said about the interaction between mind, body and spirit and positive support can make a difference," Covault said. "I don't mean that people need to wait on you hand and foot if you're sick. But if people are saying you look pale and worn out, you might not feel like you can keep going. However, if someone asks how you feel and that you look better, people tend to have a brighter outlook and get well sooner."</p><p>She believes that sympathetic concern for the patient combined with education on the correct use of antibiotics and alternative suggestions for symptom relief is all that most patients need to beat a cold.</p><p>"When a patient comes in with the mindset of, 'I'm really sick and I need this antibiotic,' when it's only an upper respiratory virus, that's the patient who's going to call back frequently," Covault said.</p><div class="story_subhead" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 8px; ">Treating more than body</div>Many doctors now employ a "mind, body and spirit," which has always been the manner in which nurse practitioners approached their patients, Diegel-Vacek said. She believes such an approach benefits patients.<p>"As nurse practitioners we put ourselves in the other person's shoes," she said. "We try to understand where they're coming from and how this acute illness is affecting their day to day life. I think that helps you to connect with them better and it encourages them to open up about and tell you other things that will guide you into helping them feel better."</p><p>When a health care provider can facilitate a compassionate discussion with the patient, the patient will often become a partner in his or her own healing process.</p><p>"The patients tend to be more compliant with the recommendations and also be much more satisfied with the visit in general," Diegel-Vacek said. "I think that can be a big key to promoting better outcomes for patients when they're ill."</p><br /></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-49064102091114977222009-07-24T10:27:00.000-07:002009-07-24T10:55:16.441-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcgvgeAKKUdAb4SwlxLeCx2JbJYbvWfVJtJNNtQiPcxyi7YLVGVpnTzwP_B_bU0TBqC7D9glfkjCEg1CsonR-vQ91M4XSPGfJQe0YwMq8a5XHf-lBmkJa5RmFS7W7i26owoMDf/s1600-h/Snapshot+2009-07-24+11-31-09.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 201px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcgvgeAKKUdAb4SwlxLeCx2JbJYbvWfVJtJNNtQiPcxyi7YLVGVpnTzwP_B_bU0TBqC7D9glfkjCEg1CsonR-vQ91M4XSPGfJQe0YwMq8a5XHf-lBmkJa5RmFS7W7i26owoMDf/s320/Snapshot+2009-07-24+11-31-09.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5362080691768705298" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;"><br /></span><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica"></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 21.0px Verdana"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Language is a uniquely human gift, central to our experience of being human. Appreciating its role in constructing our mental lives brings us one step closer to understanding the very nature of humanity.</span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 21.0px Verdana"></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 9.0px Verdana"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;">LERA BORODITSKY is an assistant professor of psychology, neuroscience, and symbolic systems at Stanford University, who looks at how the languages we speak shape the way we think.</span></span></p><p></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 21.0px Verdana"><span style="text-decoration: underline ; letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCFFFF;"><a href="http://edge.org/3rd_culture/boroditsky09/boroditsky09_index.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">http://edge.org/3rd_culture/boroditsky09/boroditsky09_index.html</span></a></span></b></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 21.0px Verdana"></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 24.0px 0.0px; font: 8.0px Verdana; color:#000099;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline; "><b><br /></b></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-69764582505559376592009-07-24T10:19:00.000-07:002009-07-24T10:25:24.160-07:00<div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://www.goldcoast.com.au/images/uploadedfiles/editorial/pictures/2009/07/24/DEADFAIRY_NEWS-WIDE_-344PX_EE296207_7261.JPG" width="344" height="247" alt="" title="" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><h1 style="text-align: left; margin-top: 10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 10px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 21px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 1.1em; width: 740px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFF99;">Fairy fatality in court</span></h1><div style="text-align: left;"><p class="artAuthor" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Samantha Turnbull http://www.goldcoast.com.au/article/2009/07/25/101451_gold-coast-news.html</span></span></p><p class="articledate" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">July 25th, 2009</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">THE driver accused of killing Tyagarah woman Milli O'Nair has appeared in court just four days after what would have been the dead woman's 42nd birthday.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mina Nashed, 18, of Hendra, appeared unrepresented in Byron Bay Local Court yesterday charged with dangerous driving occasioning death.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He did not enter a plea and will reappear in Lismore Local Court on September 9.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Police allege Mr Nashed killed Ms O'Nair on the Pacific Highway at Tyagarah on May 10.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He was driving a hire vehicle when he allegedly hit Ms O'Nair, who was riding a bicycle over a narrow, bridged section of the highway.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The impact sent her body hurtling over the bridge and into scrub next to the abandoned Casino to Murwillumbah rail line.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The accident scene was one kilometre from her home.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">She was on her way to visit her mother for Mother's Day when she was killed.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A memorial service was held for Ms O'Nair on Monday, her birthday, and her ashes were scattered at Little Wategos Beach in Byron Bay.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ms O'Nair was well known throughout the Byron Shire, particularly for wearing fairy wings which were often strapped to her back as she cycled around.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">She performed as a fairy at children's parties and worked at a fairy-themed stall at the local markets.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Ms O'Nair also worked as a non-violent communication coach.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">In an online business profile Ms O'Nair said: "This outer conflict and inner struggle ignited my passion to do it differently.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"There had to be a way to connect with compassion and I set out to expand on what I knew.</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"For over 20 years I delved deep to heal and explored far, to have the tools to make a difference in the world."</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A website has been set up in her memory where friends have posted comments including: "May the flowers you planted in this world continue to blossom and offer their sweet perfume of love truth and laughter so that you can sing and dance on our hearts with the fairies and angels forever after."</span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FFFFCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Another reads: "Away with the faeries at last, flying free. Thanks for all you gave to us here on the earth plane."</span></span></p></div></span></div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-7906394517476545922009-07-08T12:10:00.000-07:002009-07-08T12:13:18.114-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:19px;"><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span><strong><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Freedom From Our Inner Prisons</span></span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">by Kathleen MacFerran</span></b></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><a href="mailto:Kathleen@StrengthofConnection.com" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Kathleen (at) StrengthofConnection.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#CCCCCC;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><wbr>com</span></span></a></span></b></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><b><br /></b></span></span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;"><br />Though I frequently walk in and out of WA State prisons, I find myself trapped in my internal prison much more often than I enjoy. It's one I carry around with me and enter easily, but find getting out quite an arduous process. The prison is my mind, specifically the part that spins stories about what other people are thinking, doing, intending or reacting to. I admit I'm crazy to think I have access to that information when I have not heard it directly from the other person or even bothered to check out my assumptions with him/her. I am amazed how frequently my brain can come up with a story and how often a story when checked out, can be way off base.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;"><br />I find I am not alone. Conversations I hear daily are couched in language that implies wrongness or diagnosis of others. When our stories are about others, we usually feel anger. When our stories are about ourselves, the feelings of shame, guilt and depression arise. The last time I was in the womens prison I found myself on the receiving end of the stories. It was a very stressful weekend for the inmates. Mother's Day events were being held (imagine the stress of parenting from prison or the pain of not having contact with your children anymore), a higher number of fights than normal were breaking out, and most of the women who were trying to focus in the Freedom Project workshop I was co-leading were bundles of nerves. At one point on the second day, one of the women told me I was disrespectful, then another said I was being condescending, yet another one agreed and added I was just like one of "them" (the officers).</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;"><br />They were sure their stories about me were true. Their evaluations were clearly facts in their eyes. I listened with empathy and was trying to find out what they had seen or heard from me that they interpreted as disrespect or lack of caring. One thing was that I had asked two women out into the hall first thing in the morning to create safety when I thought a fight was about to break out. I mediated between them for 45 min. and the two women involved were thankful for the reconnection and learning. Some of the women who remained in the room, however, assumed I was somehow punishing the women I had asked out into the hall.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;"><br />It took empathy from my colleague and individual empathy from me with the angry participants during the following break to finally have my intentions for support, caring and learning seen by the women. We ended in a place of connection. The remaining hours of the workshop were spent giving empathy to the women for their pain and talking about the self-empathy that allowed me to stay present to myself in a way that let me hear their pain and not take their judgments personally. Judgments are simply tragic expressions of needs.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;"><br />I spent the next couple of weeks noticing when I didn't stop to pause between something that triggered me (what someone said or did) and my story about it. Some of my stories are well rehearsed as I've practiced them for years. My belief in my stories can be as strong as the inmates' belief in their stories about what they thought was going on in me. The freedom from the internal prison happens in that pause between observation and evaluation. It is finding a way to notice what I'm reacting to (the specific observation of what someone actually said or did), pausing long enough to look under my story (the evaluation) to my feelings and needs, then letting a request naturally arise in relation to the needs I'm aware of. That pause is a place of choice and power.</span></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; "><span style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;font-size:85%;">Separating observation from evaluation is a crucial first step to freedom. I find myself making that inner journey time and time again from my prison to liberation. It's starting to get easier the more I do it. It requires compassion for myself along the way and trust that continuing on that path will lead to greater joy, clarity and connection.</span></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-29159017708531257502009-07-01T10:49:00.000-07:002009-07-01T10:51:30.169-07:00<p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 14.0px Arial"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><b>REVEALING SIGNS</b></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Arial"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><i>By Dietrich Fischer</i></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Arial"><i>(professor at <a href="www.epu.ac.at">European Peace University, Austria</a>)</i></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Arial"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><i>The following are actual signs seen in various places:</i><br /><br />- In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."<br /><br />- At a Santa Fé gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."<br /><br />- In the window of a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."<br /><br />- In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."<br /><br />- In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."<br /><br />- In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."<br /><br />- In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."<br /><br />- In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"<br /><br />- On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."<br /><br />- At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."<br /><br />- On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."<br /><br />- In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."<br /><br />- In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan.”</span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 12.0px 0.0px; line-height: 16.0px; font: 12.0px Arial; min-height: 14.0px"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></p>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-64550629992155657982009-07-01T10:38:00.001-07:002009-07-01T10:38:33.500-07:00Victoria News - Reining in the bullies<a href="http://www.bclocalnews.com/vancouver_island_south/victorianews/news/49546842.html">Victoria News - Reining in the bullies</a><br /><br />Shared via <a href="http://addthis.com">AddThis</a><br />Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-19422035437365651882009-06-22T12:55:00.001-07:002009-06-22T12:56:36.362-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; font-family:'Lucida Grande', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><h1 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 30px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 15px; padding-left: 0px; font-size: 1.6em; font-weight: bold; font-style: normal; line-height: 1.3em; ">Restorative circles open dialogue and healing between Brazilian institutions and gangs</h1><div><br /></div><div class="post" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><div class="entrytext" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "><p style="margin-top: -10px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; "><em>By Molly Slothower</em></p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; "><strong>12 June 2009 [MEDIAGLOBAL]:</strong> When Dominic Barter enters the favelas that are home to the gangs that control about 25 percent of Rio de Janeiro, he doesn’t do it wearing riot gear and a megaphone. He does it armed with questions.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">Barter introduced restorative justice to the government and the gangs of Brazil in 2004, and the encounter has opened up possibilities for both that once seemed unthinkable.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">Home to two of the most dangerous cities in the world, Brazil is infamous for its gangs. A crackdown on crime in the 1990s flooded prisons to almost three times of the capacity that the prison system could handle. And the prisons themselves have become the base of gang operations.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">Gangs have always posed a particular problem for law enforcement. To counteract gangs’ advanced organization and constant streams of resources, policing gang activity often looks more like guerrilla warfare than police work.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">Rampant poverty in countries such as Brazil makes turning to gang activity for protection and support seem like the only option for countless children. Today, most of the deaths of Brazilian adolescents are caused by murder, which is usually gang-related.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">The work Barter has initiated with restorative circles brings victims, offenders, community members, and the justice system together to address crimes that occur. After intensive preparation ensuring all parties feel heard, a facilitated circle takes place. It is based on carefully designed, penetrating questions that recognize the needs of all participants, and results in agreements based on consensus.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">“I recognize in [gang activity] a lot of initiative and leadership, and a real desire to do something in local communities that will make a difference for those communities,” Barter told <strong>MediaGlobal</strong>. “I make it very clear when I engage with someone who is involved in gangs that I’ve not come there to suggest that they change their behavior.”</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">“I’ve also not come there because I support their behavior. I’ve come there because, for some reason, there is something going on in that community that diminishes people’s well-being,” Barter explained.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">Over 90 percent of the agreements made this way were successfully fulfilled last year. Courts and communities alike are finding the approach to be much more successful in opening up communication between one another. In many of the communities it impacts, reported incidents have increased, but actual court cases are reduced by about 50 percent due to use of the restorative justice track.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">“The principle of establishing human connections between people…informs anything that I do in a gang context,” Barter said. “If I want to change something in that community so there is increased well-being, my ability to do that will be determined by the quality and strength of the human connection between me and those other people.”</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">True dialogue is the most important factor in building the relationships that Dominic facilitates. He quotes thinker Martin Buber, describing dialogue as “a conversation whose result is unknown, because it has not been predefined or imposed by a single source of power. Rather, in dialogue power is shared.”</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">This requires institutions to let go in a sense, not turning a blind eye on crime, but rather recognizing that they do not have solutions that will end it. Rather they must become partners with communities in looking for solutions that address the needs of both sides.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">And now that governments like Brazil’s have so thoroughly lost control of gang problems, many are embracing this approach wholeheartedly and changing their views of gangs. Barter explained that the government realized they really had no channel of communication going with the gangs, and that a strictly adversarial power struggle was not going in the government’s favor.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">“There is a level of willingness of people in institutional settings to consider things that when I brought them up ten or fifteen years ago, they just looked at me like I was from Mars,” said Barter. “There is a kind of openness that wasn’t there before.” The key, Barter explained, was to find ways to show institutions that thinking outside the box is in their own best interest.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">“The first thing to do is to create concrete benefits for everybody that is involved. Once people have something invested in working that way, then they’re ability to think a little bit more laterally, a little bit more flexibly, about their institutional role. They come to the table with more willingness to dialogue and change,” Barter said.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">This willingness to be flexible is changing lives and giving young people options they never knew they had.</p><p style="margin-top: 12px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; ">In a recent essay, Barter described the life-changing impact of a restorative circle on a young repeat offender. After the boy had gone through the experience, he told Barter, “As well as everything else that happened I found out I have needs. I didn’t know that until I heard myself saying them. So, I didn’t know before why I did what I did.”</p></div></div><p class="postmetadata alt" style="margin-top: 40px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; line-height: 20px; background-color: rgb(248, 248, 248); border-top-width: 1px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); color: rgb(119, 119, 119); clear: left; text-align: left; "><small style="font-size: 0.9em; line-height: 1.5em; color: rgb(119, 119, 119); "><strong>MEDIAGLOBAL</strong> is the global news agency, based in the United Nations Secretariat, creating awareness in the media for the countries of the global South, with a strong focus on South-South Cooperation. The media company is one of the leading providers of information on global development issues facing vulnerable countries. MediaGlobal's news stories are read by leaders of developed countries, the global media, policymakers in donor countries, non-governmental organizations and key personnel in the United Nations Secretariat, its agencies and managers in the field worldwide. Please contact us at: UNITED NATIONS, Room 301, UN Secretariat, New York, NY 10017. Telephone: 212.963.9878. Mobile: 609.529.6129. Email: <a href="mailto:media@mediaglobal.org" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(39, 85, 131); text-decoration: none; ">media@mediaglobal.org</a>. Website:<a href="http://www.mediaglobal.org/" style="background-color: transparent; color: rgb(39, 85, 131); text-decoration: none; ">www.mediaglobal.org</a></small></p></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-36426558559448467382009-05-29T10:41:00.001-07:002009-05-29T10:41:27.330-07:00<div class="post"> <h2 style="clear: left;">Zoo Announces New Baby Giraffe</h2> <div class="image"><a href="http://www.cabq.gov/biopark/zoo"> <img src="http://www.cabq.gov/images/homepagefeature/baby-giraffe.png" alt="A male giraffe calf was born at the Rio Grande Zoo on Thursday afternoon." class="postpic" height="150" width="150" /></a></div> <p>There's a new baby at the Rio Grande Zoo!</p> <p>On May 21, a male giraffe was born to parents Kashka and Buchaneer. The calf, who has not yet been named, began walking within a half hour of his birth.</p> <p>Both mother and baby are healthy and enjoying the summer sunshine. Check them out this weekend!</p> <p><strong>More information:</strong></p> <ul><li>See more baby giraffe photos in the BioPark's <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/abqbiopark/tags/baby/">baby animal photo album >></a> <a href="http://www.cabq.gov/about/offsite.html" title="Leaving www.cabq.gov, click for disclaimer"><img src="http://www.cabq.gov/images/globe.gif" alt="Leaving www.cabq.gov, click for disclaimer" /></a></li><li><a href="http://www.cabq.gov/biopark/zoo">Visit the Rio Grande Zoo this weekend >></a></li></ul> </div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-46422513956009185042009-05-13T10:00:00.000-07:002009-05-13T10:01:24.192-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Help Stop the Bloodbath in Sri Lanka 50,000 innocent civilians are caught in the deadly crossfire of Sri Lanka's civil war. This raging battle is the last phase of a 26 year fight for Tamil independence on the small Asian island to the east of India. Over 1000 people were killed in just 48 hours last weekend. Sri Lanka's largest donor and major ally in the region, Japan, has the power to help put an end to this unfolding human catastrophe. That is why I've just written to Foreign Minister Nakasone urging Japan to insist that Sri Lanka's government and rebel groups ensure the safety of the civilians. Sending a message takes just a minute and can help to save lives. Please join me in clicking this link: http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Lucida Grande';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 12px; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Jim ------------ Here's the original email from Avaaz: Dear friends, A modern day bloodbath is unfolding on the small island of Sri Lanka, where a thousand civilians were reported killed over the weekend and tens of thousands of innocent people are literally at risk of being killed this week as government and rebel forces battle it out over the last small patch of rebel held territory. Now that the US has begun to increase its pressure, the key to stopping this humanitarian disaster lies with Sri Lanka’s most significant donor and closest partner in the region -- Japan. It has powerful political and economic influence over the Sri Lankan government and a swing vote at the UN Security Council, which up until now has turned a blind eye to this mounting catastrophe. Click here to send a message to the Japanese Foreign Minister, who is deciding his government's next steps. Japan cares about its international reputation and a flood of messages from abroad would encourage them to act. If Japan moves then the Sri Lankan government will be forced to immediately respond to protect civilians: http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK As last weekend´s carnage testifies, every minute counts for the estimated 50,000 civilians still trapped inside the shrinking conflict zone and for those 200,000 more who are barely surviving in overcrowded camps. The International Committee of the Red Cross, which rarely makes public comment, called this conflict between the Sri Lankan government and the Tamil rebels, 'nothing short of catastrophic'. Until now, the divided UN Security Council has abdicated their responsibility to protect Sri Lankans from war crimes and other atrocities. But in this conflict Japan cannot be ignored – its powerful voice could tip the balance and influence the conflict dynamics, saving lives in the short-term and promoting peace and development in the long run. Asia's longest-running civil war is entering its final stage – the only question is how many will die before it ends. Let´s send a powerful message urging Japan´s Foreign Minister to act responsibly and lead international efforts to push the Tamil rebels to release the remaining civilians, stop the government bombing and bring sustainable peace to Sri Lanka. Japan's political and economic weight means that they cannot be ignored: http://www.avaaz.org/en/stop_the_bloodbath/98.php?CLICK_TF_TRACK As other donor nations increase the pressure behind the scenes this week, a truly global citizens' outcry can further turn the heat on the Japanese government to use its leverage and push for a robust and concerted international action that stops the bloodshed and protect the Sri Lankan civilian population at risk. Thank you for sending your message today. With hope Luis, Brett, Alice, Graziela, Pascal, Ben, Ricken, Paula, Iain, Paul, Raj and the rest of the Avaaz Team</span></div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-1136637684316752952009-05-12T09:42:00.000-07:002009-05-12T09:52:37.547-07:00<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Reactions to the Death of CNVC Trainer Milli O'Nair</b></span></div><div><br /></div>Greetings, Friends,<div><br /></div><div>I felt sad and shocked when I first read of Milli's death this morning online.</div><div><br /></div><div>Although I did not have the chance to ever meet her in person, I enjoyed her contributions to our trainer forum. I feel touched recalling her light, playful attitude and what I sense was a deep longing to contribute to nonviolence and helping people get their needs met. I consider her a sister, a colleague, and a kindred spirit.</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel both sympathy and empathy for Mill's family and friends, and yearn for them to receive the empathic support they need in this time of shock and grief.</div><div><br /></div><div>I feel concern reading that a young man, only 18, crashed into Milli when he nodded off at the wheel of his vehicle. I worry for his well-being as he confronts the results of this accident. I long for a system that helps this young man in a restoration process, and I'm broken-hearted considering the ramifications of a punitive response by Authority to this tragedy.</div><div><br /></div><div>I hope the Australian NVC community can somehow rally around the families and friends of both Milli and this young man and surround them with empathy and healing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Warmly, Sadly,</div><div><br /></div><div>Jim</div><div><br /></div><div>For information on this tragedy, see:http://news.google.com/news/story?ncl=http://www.goldcoast.com.au/article/2009/05/12/77985_gold-coast-news.html&hl=en</div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-70749198601235533292009-05-12T09:29:00.000-07:002009-05-12T10:09:47.015-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 25px; font-family:Arial;font-size:18px;"><h2 class="cN-headingPage prepend-5 span-11 last" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 200px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; font: normal normal normal 2.3em/normal Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; float: left; width: 420px; position: relative; z-index: 1; "><br /></h2><div class="push-0 span-11 last" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; float: right; width: 420px; position: relative; "><div class="cT-imageLandscape" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; text-align: center; "><div style="text-align: left;"><img src="http://images.brisbanetimes.com.au/2009/05/12/515031/millionair420-420x0.jpg" alt="Milli O'Nair and the stretch of road where the accident happened." style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: bottom; " /></div><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0.3em; padding-right: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0.5em; padding-left: 0.5em; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 0.94em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; clear: left; text-align: left; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-color: rgb(222, 222, 222); ">Milli O'Nair and the stretch of road where the accident happened.</p></div><div class="cT-storyDetails cfix" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(102, 102, 102); line-height: 1.2; font-family:inherit;font-size:18px;"><h5 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border- font-weight: bold; font-style: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; font-family:inherit;color:initial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; font-family:Georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Milli O'Nair's happy life cut horribly short in freak accident</span></span></h5><h5 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: bold; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Georgina Robinson</h5><cite style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">May 12, 2009 - 2:25PM</cite></div><bod><div class="articleBody" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 18px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; "><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Milli O'Nair loved fairies, children and her bicycle.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">The 41-year-old's horrific death at the hands of a tired young driver last Sunday has left a small northern NSW community mourning the loss of her whimsical charm and peaceful soul.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">O'Nair, a non-violent communication coach and laughter yoga teacher, was killed instantly when a hired truck ploughed into the back of her bicycle on a narrow, bridged section of the Pacific Highway a few kilometres north of Byron Bay.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Police say the impact sent her body hurtling over the side of the bridge and into the heavy scrub and railway tracks below.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">The driver, an 18-year-old man on his way back to Sydney from the Gold Coast, told investigators he nodded off for a moment and woke when the truck was scraping along the left hand guard rail.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">He has not yet been charged.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">O'Nair, who left behind a partner, died a kilometre from where she lived, in a residential community devoted to meditation, yoga and sustainable development.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Her neighbour and friend there, Gwen Gould, said the death had rocked the residents of Gondwana Sanctuary.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"You can't imagine it," Ms Gould said.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"We had a gathering last night with her friends and the beautiful stories that came out.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"She was just a person who really worked towards sorting through her life's problems and living it to the full.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"She laughed and kept people on their toes with her honesty."</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Ms Gould said she last saw O'Nair with her partner on Friday night.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"I was just going out for the evening to look after my grandchildren and she and her (partner) came past the front my house and we just stood there and had a right happy chat," she said.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">O'Nair spent years manning a fairy stall at the local markets before forging a new path as a nonviolent communication coach and teacher.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">Friends said she was regularly seen cycling with a pair of fairy wings strapped to her back, flitting between children's parties, where she handed out wands, wings, and fairy crowns.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">The 41-year-old refers, in an online business profile, to "childhood trauma" and "violent communication" at high school as formative life experiences.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"This outer conflict and inner struggle, ignited my passion to do it differently," she writes.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"There had to be a way to connect with compassion and I set out to expand on what I knew.</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">"For over 20 years I delved deep to heal and explored far, to have the tools to make a difference in the world."</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0.8em; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1.2em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; "><a href="http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/milli-onairs-happy-life-cut-horribly-short-in-freak-accident-20090512-b1d4.html">www.brisbanetimes.com.au</a></p></div></bod></div></span>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-34415542004643731462009-05-06T13:55:00.000-07:002009-05-06T14:02:35.889-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:19px;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Greetings, Friends,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I recently received the letter below from one of the members of our Compassionate Leadership community. I feel so inspired reading this that I wanted to pass it on.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ronnie, the author, recently had the opportunity to connect with the Commissioner of the newly forming Buenas Aires (Argentina) Police Force to introduce him to the idea of sharing NVC with the recruits as a part of their training. Before the meeting, Ronnie asked for and received support from many members of the NVC community.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I'd love to hear your response to this celebration!</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Warmly,</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Jim</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Hello Group,<br /><br />It's hard for me to write this update on my meeting because I'm having a hard time believing what happened. Manu and I spent several hours together preparing for the meeting this week. Additionally, we each listened to the tape of the hour-long Skype meeting that I had with Dominic Barter a number of times. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We were prepared to listen and not talk very much, to be present to the Commissioner's needs.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br />Neither of us expected the meeting that we ended up having. The man we met with started out by asking why we were there. We tried to engage him in a conversation about the needs of the new police force, but he said things like, 'Well, they don't even exist yet." </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial;font-size:19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We shared with him that we want to support the success of the new police force and that we have something that we believe will enable them to relate to people better.<br /><br />It was like we discovered a big black hole that needed to be filled. He asked us how many hours we needed to give the training. And he asked us if we can start next week!<br /><br />It has taken me several hours to sit down and write this because it's so unbelievable. If I had been there alone, I would have said that it was a dream. But Manu confirms that this actually happened. The man we spoke with said that he would have a meeting with the man in charge of curriculum to determine where in the schedule they want to put our training.<br /><br />He didn't ask for our credentials. He didn't ask what kind of<br />experience we had. He didn't ask for references. The truth is that he seemed to have been presented with something that appealed to him and he grabbed it.<br /><br />We don't have a contract yet, but I don't think it's premature to say that I think we will be doing this training. There will be 1000 (one thousand) cadets and 20-25 instructors that will take the training. We will train instructors to facilitate the training.<br /><br />So that's the update.<br /><br />Here's the gratitude. Manu and I are grateful for all your support.<br />It was very helpful to know that there were a bunch of people from around the world that were sending blessings and good energy our way. You supported the intention to connect. You held a space for us. I read through your comments several times before our meeting. The last time I read all your words of support and encouragement was this morning, right before Manu came over for the final review. We talked about how supported we felt and how much of a difference that made.<br /><br />I know that I didn't write back to each of you individually. I got<br />very involved in mentally and emotionally preparing myself and didn't take the time. I want you to know that each and every one of you made a difference in our ability to walk in there calmly, connected to our needs, with the intention of connecting to the needs of the Police Chief.<br /><br />So thank you... for taking the time to write to us... for holding us<br />in your Consciousness... for being a part of this dream we have that the world can be a more compassionate place.<br /><br />Thank you so very much.<br /><br />With open hearts,<br /></span><span style="color:#888888;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Ronnie and Manu</span></span></span></div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-78785795070528020992009-04-04T13:26:00.000-07:002009-04-04T13:29:36.179-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Gossip Girls and Boys Learn to Be Nice</span></span><br />from the NY Times<div><br /><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/education/05empathy.html?_r=2&hp=&pagewanted=all">http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/education/05empathy.html?_r=2&hp=&pagewanted=all</a><br />By WINNIE HU<br />Published: April 4, 2009<br />SCARSDALE, N.Y. — The privileged teenagers at Scarsdale Middle School are learning to be nicer this year, whether they like it or not.<br /><br />English classes discuss whether Friar Laurence was empathetic to Romeo and Juliet. Research projects involve interviews with octogenarians and a survey of local wheelchair ramps to help students identify with the elderly and the disabled. A new club invites students to share snacks and board games after school with four autistic classmates who are in separate classes during the day.<br /><br />And to combat feelings of exclusion, the Parent Teacher Association is trying to curtail a longstanding tradition of seventh- and eighth-graders showing up en masse Monday morning wearing the personalized sweatshirts handed out to the popular crowd at the weekend’s bar or bat mitzvahs.<br /><br />The emphasis on empathy here and in schools nationwide is the latest front in a decade-long campaign against bullying and violence. Many urban districts have found empathy workshops and curriculums help curb fighting and other misbehavior. In Scarsdale, a wealthy, high-performing district with few discipline problems to start with, educators see the lessons as grooming children to be better citizens and leaders by making them think twice before engaging in the name-calling, gossip and other forms of social humiliation that usually go unpunished.<br /><br />“As a school, we’ve done a lot of work with human rights,” said Michael McDermott, the middle school principal. “But you can’t have kids saving Darfur and isolating a peer in the lunchroom. It all has to go together.”<br /><br />Many Scarsdale parents praise the empathy focus, but some students complain that the school has no business dictating what they wear or how they act in their personal lives. Others say that no matter what is taught in the classroom, there is a different reality in the cafeteria and hallways, where the mean girls are no less mean and the boys will still be boys knocking books out of one another’s hands.<br /><br />Bar mitzvah sweatshirts emblazoned with the name of the honoree, the date and occasionally even the guest list are still commonly worn, if not on the Monday after, then on a Tuesday or Wednesday a month later.<br /><br />Otherwise, “what’s the point in getting them?” asked Jess Calamari, 13, an eighth grader who gave out blue hooded sweatshirts to more than 150 guests at her bat mitzvah last year. “I don’t want to offend people, but I like sweatshirts.”<br /><br />Dana Reegen, a seventh grader who says that she has been talked about behind her back, gave her classmates a C in empathy. “I know a lot of people aren’t very nice to each other,” she said. “They don’t really think it’s the most important thing, they’re more focused on what they look like, what they’re wearing, and who’s going out with who.”<br /><br />Nationally, some question whether such attempts at social engineering are appropriate for the classroom or should remain the purview of parents, churches and youth groups outside of school hours. “Who could be against teaching empathy?” said Michael Petrilli, a vice president for the Thomas B. Fordham Institute, an education policy group in Washington. “But there’s a laundry list of seemingly important activities that, when added together, crowd out the academic mission of our schools.”<br /><br />But Deborah Kasak, executive director of the National Forum to Accelerate Middle-Grades Reform, said that teaching empathy can seem “artificial or hokey” to some students, but over time can foster a school culture that encourages learning over social distractions. “I don’t know if you can teach everybody to be empathetic,” she acknowledged, “but you can raise awareness.”<br /><br />Empathy lessons are spreading everywhere amid concerns over the pressure on students from high-stakes tests and a race to college that starts in kindergarten. The Character Education Partnership, a nonprofit group in Washington, said 18 states — including New York, Florida, Illinois, Nebraska and California — require programs to foster core values such as empathy, respect, responsibility and integrity.<br /><br />This year, Los Angeles is spending nearly $1 million on a nationally known program for its 147 middle schools, called Second Step: Student Success Through Prevention, which teaches empathy, impulse control, anger management and problem solving. In Seattle, seven public elementary schools are using a Canadian-based program, Roots of Empathy, in which a mother and her baby go into the classroom to explore questions like “What makes you cry?”<br /><br />Within the charter network KIPP, which stands for Knowledge Is Power Program, some schools are focusing more on empathy, with lessons about the Holocaust, role-playing and a “values jingle” sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells.”<br /><br />And on Long Island, Weber Middle School in Port Washington inducted 300 students — nearly one-quarter of the school — into the Weber Pride club this year as reward for gestures like sitting with a new girl at lunch or helping a panicked classmate on the rock climbing wall.<br /><br />At Public School 114 in the South Bronx, where David A. Levine, author of “Teaching Empathy,” has been running workshops since 2006, the principal, Olivia Francis-Webber said that the number of fights had dropped to fewer than three a month — from one to three a week — and disciplinary referrals were down to about five a month from nearly 20.<br /><br />Before, she said, teachers would “immediately admonish the child for bad behavior and send them to the office,” but since the empathy training began, they more often are “sitting down with students and finding out what’s wrong.”<br /><br />Here in Scarsdale, the middle school has also seen an effect on behavior: Administrators have received three complaints about bullying or harassment on buses this year, compared with an average of two or three a month last year. Counselors have handed out fewer detentions for minor infractions such as chronic tardiness to class or running in the hallways.<br /><br />The school and P.T.A. have spent $10,000 on empathy workshops with Mr. Levine, and tried to infuse the curriculum and culture with the theme. A photojournalism project showcases students’ work with the homeless, local charities and the environment. This month, the student council is planning a “Mix It Up Day” to break up cafeteria cliques.<br /><br />Debbie Reegen, an insurance administrator and Dana’s mother, said she believes that empathy is lacking in many Scarsdale children and that the efforts should start in elementary school.<br /><br />“They should make the parents come as well,” she said. “I think there’s a sense of elitism, and a bit of arrogance, among the parents here.”<br /><br />At the middle school, there are signs that the lessons are starting to stick.<br /><br />Sarah Frohman, 13, said that she catches herself when she is about to call someone who annoys her a “retard,” and that she has told her soccer coach in a youth league not to use the word.<br /><br />Annie Gevertz, 12, said that she is more careful of what she says about other students. “Sometimes, I think about how it would feel if it were said about me, and I’ll keep it to myself instead of sharing,” she said, though she expects gossip will probably never be gone for good “because we’re teenage girls and that’s something we do.”<br /><br />On the bar mitzvah circuit, students have started handing out alternatives like water bottles and pajama pants. Jason Thurm, 13, collected more than 200 of the personalized sweatshirts from his friends and donated them to a church; for his own party in November, Jason did not have favors, and planned to donate the money his parents would have spent on them to a charity.<br /><br />In the cafeteria, Alex Primavera, 12, described empathy as putting himself in someone else’s shoes. He said he had been trying not to put down his classmates or call them “moron” and “idiot.” Then he yelled at another student to shut up.<br /><br />“He tries but he doesn’t get very far,” said Alan Zhong, 12, adding that Alex had just kicked him in English class.<br /></div>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-70899650996428686532009-03-16T21:44:00.000-07:002009-03-16T21:54:32.225-07:00Greetings, Marshall, Valentina, Margo, Board and LT members, CNVC Staff,<br />Trainers and Candidates,<br /><br /><br /> Back in April, 2006, I felt on fire with inspiration and gratitude to be<br />involved with CNVC. Jori and I had moved to California a few months before<br />so she could become the interim director. Although I had great admiration<br />(and trepidation) for her willingness to take that on, I had more interest<br />in cooking her dinner than doing the work of an ED.<br /><br /><br /> One way I did contribute was by helping out answering the phone during<br />office staff meetings. I especially enjoyed connecting with folks in our<br />network, even when they were unhappy. That experience really helped me to<br />sharpen my skills of presence.<br /><br /><br /> Once, I listened to someone who reported feeling very angry about some<br />things that had transpired in the past between them and CNVC. It seemed<br />hard for this person to connect with any gratitude for anything that CNVC<br />had done. I remember feeling confused and sad about this.<br /><br /><br /> Connecting to my need for acknowledgment and gratitude inspired me to write<br />a blog post entitled “More than 50 ways CNVC has contributed to me”. In<br />light of Glenda’s recent request to inquire about our Appreciation, I dug it<br />back out, dusted it off, revised it and offer it again in the Spirit of<br />Gratitude.<br /><br /><br />Thanks, Glenda, for making your request to connect to gratitude around my<br />relationship to CNVC. Although the past couple of years have offered me<br />challenges to keeping my heart open in my dealings with CNVC, number 1 on my<br />current list of gratitudes is the growth and liberation that those<br />interactions have inspired in me.<br /><br /><br />Right now, when I think of Marshall, The CNVC leadership and staff, and the<br />network of Certified Trainers, candidates, practitioners and Friends, I'm<br />savoring warmth and appreciation...<br /><br /><br />“More than 50 ways CNVC has contributed to me”<br /><br /><br />1. Co-sponsored the mediation training where I first met Marshall (a golden<br />oldie!) (and a life transforming event!)<br /><br />2. Organized the first IIT I attended in Puerto Rico (another golden oldie)<br /><br />3. Offered Special Sessions that included NVC practitioners from around the<br />world to work directly with Marshall, inspiring social transformation<br />projects<br /><br />4. Provide a website with a listing of me and my training offerings,<br />accessible by anyone anywhere with a computer<br /><br />5. Give me a logo and a "brand" with ever increasing recognition<br /><br />6. Give me a community wherever I go in the world<br /><br />7. Open doors for me because of Marshall's reputation and the inspiration<br />his work continues to engender<br /><br />8. Answer the phone whenever I call for support<br /><br />9. Answer an email whenever I need support<br /><br />10. Act as a warehouse for my book and material sales<br /><br />11. Ship me books and other materials whenever I want, at a discount that<br />helps to support me<br /><br />12. Certify me as a trainer, and thus open doors for me<br /><br />13. Offer me the opportunity for a tax deductible donation to a cause I<br />believe in<br /><br />14. Make and keep agreements to protect the Nonviolent Communication service<br />mark and copyrights<br /><br />15. Make and keep agreements to provide me with an ever-increasing number of<br />materials: books, cds, videos, cassettes, pamphlets, newsletters, puppets,<br />ears, etc<br /><br />16. Give me a list of skilled people in every part of the world to help me<br />connect my friends and family with NVC<br /><br />17. Give me a network of people to support me in growing myself, my<br />practice, my training offerings<br /><br />18. Give me a source for inspirational stories, testimonials, etc<br /><br />19. Provide me with sound bytes of Marshall wisdom<br /><br />20. Built a network and community of 200+ Certified trainers of which I am a<br />part<br /><br />21. Built a network of hundreds of local NVC supporters around the world<br /><br />22. Organize and implement Marshall's schedule which continues to be a<br />primary way NVC is spread throughout the world<br /><br />23. Offers scholarships to folks to assist them to attend training when they<br />do not otherwise have the means to do so<br /><br />24. Act as a central clearinghouse for information and other resources.<br /><br />25. Offers and provides supportive services to a Board of Directors to guide<br />the mission and vision of CNVC and NVC<br /><br />26. Maintains tax exempt charity status in the USA<br /><br />27. Offers free materials to those who have a need but not the ability to<br />pay<br /><br />28. Offers open board and other meetings to contribute to transparency and<br />clarity.<br /><br />29. Offers access to provide blogs on cnvc.org<br /><br />30. Offers resources for my students to access on the website<br /><br />31. Fosters connection through promoting e-groups<br /><br />32. Offers a feedback mechanism through the CNVC website to collect<br />appreciations and mournings related to CNVC decisions<br /><br />33. Fosters worldwide community through the Global Community Circle.<br /><br />34. Struggles to create a life serving system within a domination structure<br /><br />35. Offers ongoing training to CNVC staff<br /><br />36. Offers IIT's in Europe and the USA<br /><br />37. Offers a mechanism to connect trainers with requests for training<br />throughout the world<br /><br />38. Offers a community of trainers connected through yearly reports and our<br />yahoo group<br /><br />39. Does fund-raising to continue to support the work<br /><br />40. Is beginning to live the dream of a multi-lingual organization<br /><br />41. Protects the copyright and service mark for my use as a certified<br />trainer<br /><br />42. Provides resources that I can use to make my own materials in my<br />training<br /><br />43. Provides resources that I can use to continue to deepen my practice of<br />NVC<br /><br />44. Re-opened the Certification path for folks near completion while<br />continuing to work on revamping the system<br /><br />45. Provides inspiration and support to spiritual seekers in many<br />traditions, and those who are hungry for spirituality "outside" a tradition<br /><br />46. Sponsors the gratitude project<br /><br />47. Provided me the opportunity to volunteer in meaningful projects, like<br />the GCC, staff training and LT<br /><br />48. Contributed to my financial sustainability and opportunities for<br />community by inviting me to organize several IITs and Special Sessions<br /><br />49. Provided me with the opportunity to meet and make life-long friends<br />among the CNVC board and staff, especially Danielle, William, Dot, John<br />Buck, The Wileys, Stefan, Dee and Miguel<br /><br />50. Introduced me to open space, sociocracy and many other valuable tools<br />and technologies<br /><br />51. Created and fostered a training network that fulfilled my need to learn<br />NVC by providing me with quality trainers and collaborators (especially<br />Marshall Rosenberg, Christa Morf, Jorge Rubio, Eva Rambala, John Kinyon, Wes<br />Taylor, Robert Gonzales, John Cunningham, Towe Wildstrand, Sura Hart, Sylvia<br />Haskvitz, Lucy Leu, Rodger Sorrow, Anne Bouritt, Kirsten Kristensen,<br />Karsten, Schact-Petersen, Marianne Gothlin, Liv Larson, Andreas Basu,<br />Dominic Barter, Gary Baran, Miki and Inbal Kashtan, Gregg Kendrick, Mary<br />MacKenzie, Bridget Belgrave, Gina Lawrie, Catherine Cadden, Myra Walden,<br />Jeff Brown, Susan Skye, Liv Monroe, Barbara Larson, Jacob Gotwals, Jack<br />Lehman, Hawkeye Landis, Rita Herzog, and last but from least, Jori<br />Manske.*)<br /><br /><br /> I’m guessing if I tried, I could come up with 50 more!<br /><br /><br />Would you be willing to say how you feel, right now, connecting to this with<br />me?<br /><br />With Celebration,<br /><br /><br /> Jim<br /><br /><br /><br />*It was massively fun for me to make this list of my teachers. I'm sad that<br />it is likely that I inadvertently left someone off the list. This means<br />more about the state of my memory that the impact you all have had on me!Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-36023391907170613022009-03-02T14:10:00.000-08:002009-03-02T14:21:44.077-08:00Greetings, friends,<br /><br />I recently received the <a href="http://www.upaya.org/newsletter/view/2009/03/02">online newsletter for Upaya</a>, a Zen center in Santa Fe.<br /><br />I felt touched reading the following Declaration. It also stimulated sadness in me, because I care about transforming systems in a more life-serving, life-enriching way. So, below is the response I wrote to the declaration...<br /><br /><br />DECLARATION OF THE PRECIOUSNESS OF LIFE: NO TO THE DEATH PENALTY<br />Text of a card that you can carry in your wallet to express your principles regarding the death penalty:<br /><br />“I, the undersigned, being of sound mind and memory, do hereby in the presence of witnesses make this Declaration about the preciousness of life. Should I die as a result of a violent crime, I request that the person or persons found guilty of homicide for my killing not be subject to or put in jeopardy of the death penalty under any circumstances, no matter how heinous their crime or how much I may have suffered. The death penalty would only increase my suffering. <br /><br />I request that the Prosecutor or District Attorney having the jurisdiction of the person or persons alleged to have committed my homicide not file or prosecute an action for capital punishment as a result of my homicide. <br /><br />This Declaration is not meant to be, and should not be taken as, a statement that the person or persons who have committed my homicide should go unpunished. <br /><br /> I request that my family and friends take whatever actions are necessary to carry out the intent and purpose of this Declaration and request them to take no action contrary to this Declaration.<br /><br />My response:<br /><br />Dear Ones,<br /><br />I'm touched by the Spirit of the wallet card you all offer in the latest newsletter, because the preciousness of Life is dear to me for it offers an opportunity to awaken.<br /><br />Although no one can argue with the effectiveness of the death penalty (the offender is guaranteed never to offend again!), the cost of state-sponsored violence and retribution is too great for me to bear. Retribution and vengeance almost always stimulate fear and submission to external authority, and even 21st century forensic science cannot guarantee the elimination of the chance that an innocent person is killed by the state.<br /><br />I am also deeply saddened reading the line, “This Declaration is not meant to be, and should not be taken as, a statement that the person or persons who have committed my homicide should go unpunished”, because I see that punishment of any kind reinforces the thinking of vengeful duality that perpetuates so much suffering. Until we heal from the thinking that any one of us deserves to be punished, none of us will be truly liberated!<br /><br />Study after study consistently shows that punishment does not increase the likelihood of an "offender" refraining from taking actions that do not contribute to mutual well-being. In fact, punishment, from shaming to spanking to punitive imprisonment, all increase the likelihood that future offenses will occur. The death penalty is the only exception, at least in the current incarnation! If punishment works, why are our prisons and jails increasing their populations faster than we can build new cells?<br /><br />For me, it calls into question what our reasons are for requesting the behavior we would like...Do we want submission out of fear of retributive punishment or would we prefer respect for authority because it is easy to connect with the good reasons (protection of life, clarity, safety, etc.) that motivate rules, laws and the like?<br /><br />So, if I carry a card in my wallet, I intend to replace the text in the third paragraph with the following:<br /><br />"This Declaration is not meant to be, and should not be taken as, a statement that the person or persons who have committed my homicide should go without an opportunity to restore their place in society. Likewise, it does not indicate that society should go unprotected from persons who behave violently or without regard to mutual well-being. I encourage both the protective use of force (including state custody) and the implementation of restorative justice strategies to bring society, my family and the offender back into wholeness."<br /><br />I would enjoy receiving your responses to this letter.<br /><br />Warmly,<br /><br />Jim ManskeJim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21234195.post-35413585013275175112009-01-21T15:20:00.000-08:002009-01-21T15:21:34.642-08:00<h2 id="hdr"><xtitle>Obama, Miracle on the Hudson and a Society of Collaborative Excellence</xtitle></h2>by James Melamed<br />from <a href="http://Mediate.com">Mediate.com</a><br /><br /><hr id="hr"><photo><img src="http://www.mediate.com/people/jimbo2.gif" borders="0" alt="James Melamed" style="margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px;" align="right" /></photo> <!-- BEGIN TEXT --> What are the odds of Barack Obama becoming our President? His story is now our story. Obama’s election represents what is possible. Not what is normal nor what is expected, but what is possible. <p> And what are the odds of 155 passengers surviving a plane crash into the Hudson River? This is not everyday stuff. It is what is possible. It is what is best. </p><p> As the pilot saved so many lives, he also gifted so very much to the many thousands of husbands, wives, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends and colleagues who would have otherwise been so severely impacted. What a gift to thousands. This pilot deserves the highest medal we have. We should create a new medal for him, a medal for exceptional excellence. </p><p> As this pilot landed the plane without a life lost, especially just a few days before the Obama Inauguration, I can not help thinking of Obama as our pilot, the world’s pilot. While the future remains most challenging and highly uncertain, one just has a sense that, if anyone can land this plane, it will be Obama. How lucky we are to now not have ordinary leadership. How lucky we are that we have a fellow with so much competence and character. What are the odds? Whatever one’s party affiliation, I suggest that we as a nation are lucky to have a guy with the competence and cool that we now have “in the cockpit.” </p><p> And I see bigger things. I see a larger social commitment to collaborative excellence. Just as the passengers remarkably cooperated to exit the plane within 90 seconds, being courteous and effective under pressure, so I see our society evolving. While there will surely be mistakes and a good measure of pragmatism, one has a sense that Obama is leading a culture of collaborative excellence. </p><p> In Obama’s facilitative leadership, we see the best of the mediation and facilitation fields having made their way to the halls of power in our nation and the world. “We are all one” and our President is now on the network. </p><p> That Obama does not want to give up his Blackberry is so heartening. His rapid rise offers, among other things, a more recent understanding of the “real lives of real people.” Obama is addicted, like many of us, to being connected and to having access to as much information as possible. Our online connectedness is the daily manifestation of the world’s oneness. </p><p> And so, with the Obama Inauguration days away, and on the heels of the “Miracle on the Hudson,” I am surprisingly optimistic even in the pits of our economic collapse. Somehow, I have a sense that we are going to be able to put “this plane down” and recover, and even learn from our challenges and calamities. </p><p> Ours is a culture poised to recognize excellence in leadership and excellence in performance. “The Miracle on the Hudson” is our antidote to 9/11. It is us at our resourceful best rather than our victimized worst. If only out of necessity, we may now well be entering an era of collaborative excellence. Necessity breeds invention, often just in the nick of time. May it be so. </p><p> <!-- //END TEXT --> <orderdetails></orderdetails> <attachments></attachments><br /><br /></p><div align="center"><a href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/melamed20.cfm#top"><img src="http://www.mediate.com/micart/toparrow1.gif" alt="to top of page" border="0" height="25" width="32" /></a></div><br /> <!-- BIO PLACEMENT --> <a name="bio"></a> <h2 id="hdr">Biography</h2> <hr id="hr"> <br /><br /> <biotext> <p><b>Jim Melamed</b> co-founded Resourceful Internet Solutions (RIS) and Mediate.com in 1996. Before this, Jim founded The Mediation Center in Eugene, Oregon in 1983 and served as Executive Director of the national Academy of Family Mediators from 1987 to 1993. </p> <p>Jim is past-Chair of the Oregon Dispute Resolution Commission and a member of the Oregon State Bar. Jim teaches Mediation at the Pepperdine University School of Law's Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution. </p> <p>Jim was the first President and Executive Director of the Oregon Mediation Association (1985) and received the OMA's 2003 Award for Excellence. </p> <p>Jim Received the Oregon State Bar Dispute Resolution Section's 2006 Sidney Lezak Award of Excellence and the 2007 John Haynes Distinguished Mediator Award from the Association for Conflict Resolution.</p> <p>Jim's undergraduate degree is in in psychology, with honors, from Stanford University and his law degree is from the University of Oregon. </p><br /><br /></biotext> <bioemail><a href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/melamed20.cfm#" onclick="contactform('ARTICLE',4583)">Email Author</a><br /></bioemail> <biourl>Website: <a href="http://www.smartmediator.com/">www.smartmediator.com</a><br /><br /></biourl> Additional articles by <a href="http://www.mediate.com/people/personprofile.cfm?auid=5">James Melamed</a>Jim Manskehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00302272538093176212noreply@blogger.com0