REVEALING SIGNS

By Dietrich Fischer

(professor at European Peace University, Austria)

The following are actual signs seen in various places:

- In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

- At a Santa Fé gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

- In the window of a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."

- In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

- In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."

- In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."

- In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

- In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

- On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."

- At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

- On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."

- In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."

- In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan.”