Friday, December 15, 2006

Celebrating the Light!

Celebration seems such a crucial element to living in NVC Consciousness. When I recognize the needs of mine that are satisfied in the moment, I generally feel open, alive and grateful. And the observation, for me from my perch of privilege, is that most of my needs are satisfied much of the time. I first learned this lesson a year and a half ago when I rushed from Albuquerque to Atlanta to support my parents during a severe and unexpected health crisis. My time at my parents' home stretched out to two months, and during those 60 days, most of them apart form Jori and the ground of my "normal" everyday experience, I learned a deep lesson about the power of acknowledging "ordinary" gratitude. Some moments, practically the only need I could acknowledge as satisfied was the need for air. I always had enough air! I was surviving!

Noticing this opened up the space to acknowledge other needs satisfied in that moment as well: safety, respect, community, autonomy, effectiveness, connection, love, interdependence... it ended up being a cornerstone of my NVC practice during that period, and since - the simple acknowledgment and savoring of a need satisfied.

And something about the space that opens up from gratitude transforms the experience of mourning, as well. Since our needs are in constant and dynamic flux, in any given moment, some needs are satisfied, some are emerging into awareness, and others may become downright urgent; and there may be the pain of acknowledging chronically unmet needs- the sweet pain of noticing that life does not always unfold to support every need being met in every moment. For some of us, we suffer deeply because some of our needs have gone unsatisfied for far longer than we would wish. When our needs are not satisfied, by design and by definition, we feel uncomfortable. The lack of comfort moves us in the service of our unsatisfied needs. If we did not feel the pain of hunger, we would not be motivated to eat!

So mourning and gratitude end up being two sides of the same coin of celebration. As we move into the darkest days of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere), my wish for you is to celebrate the inner Light of awareness of Life moving within you. May your attention on your feelings and needs motivate you towards creating and sustaining well-being for your self, for those you care about, and for those you do not even know.

Warmly,

Jim

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Deserve Thinking: A Root Cause of Violence

Greetings friends,

I received a letter from a friend recently. I enjoyed considering and answering his question and I thought it might contribute if I shared it here. His questions and comments are in italics; my answers are embedded in plain text.

Hi Jim,

Would you be willing to help me out if this mental box I am finding myself in?

Yep! I feel excited and pleased that you asked because I would love to contribute in this way.

I was discussing the concept of "deserve" with my girlfriend last night. At one point she said "My son deserves anything his heart could ever want, but I know that he won't get it because that's the way the world is". This is paraphrasing, but I am now able to connect with her need for her child's well-being, and also that she is mourning that life is not always full of ease.

I feel touched hearing your expression of empathy...

The difficulty for me is that we discussed my friends in Africa. She asked me if I thought they "deserved" the lot they've been dealt. I find it difficult to find my way out of this conundrum. On one hand I think that the deserve concept alienates us from our feelings and even can make the issue seem external-so it is harder to connect with our needs, but then I also say "no, they DON'T deserve that!"

How can I reconcile the concept of people deserving good things in their life and NVC?

I hear your eagerness to understand important distinctions around the deserve concept in NVC.

For me, deserve is the most pernicious and dangerous of all of life-alienated communication and is at the root of the structures that perpetuate violence. Deserve implies:
1. Belief in a single, absolute code delineating what is right and what is wrong.
2. A judge that can determine whether or not a behavior or belief is right or wrong within the code.
3. A judge with the institutional power to mete out punishment for "evil-doers", those whose behavior or beliefs are found lacking and therefore condemned by the code.
4. A system of institutionalized punishment and submission to enforce, through coercion, the dictates of the code and the judge.
5. A population willing to capitulate and submit to that power.

When I hear someone say, "My son deserves everything his heart could ever want," the first thing I want to do is translate that into feelings and needs, like I heard you do. Something like, "Sounds like you really value your son's well-being and you really want him to thrive, is that it?"

And when I hear, "do you think your African friends deserve the lot they've been dealt," I want to transform that as well: "Are you feeling curious about how I feel about the life conditions that my friends find themselves in? Are you feeling concerned about my well-being as I connect with what life is like for them? Are you concerned about their well-being and access to resources to fulfill their basic needs?"

Then, I want to divorce myself from the life-alienated concept of deserve; I want to de-link behaviors and beliefs from punitive or manipulative consequences. No one deserves to suffer because no one has ever done anything wrong. The existence of a singe, absolute code is an illusion perpetuated by "the domination system" as a tragic expression of the need for order. Fighting about which is the one right code has been the root cause of so many wars!

The observation, I think, is life conditions arise for people based on a wide and deep variety of factors. Being born in poverty just happens; sadly, every few seconds. This breaks my heart, because I have a need for universal well-being. There are structural causes for this and strategies can and will emerge to address this systemically. This is the heart of social change work. NVC can help us to manage our heartbreak and despair through empathy and life-affirming mourning, freeing the energy to creatively address the structural problems perpetuating suffering.

And I want some understanding that all humans have a birthright to the fulfillment of all human needs. A birthright is way beyond deserve; a birthrights is universal, like needs, and shared by all regardless of geography, behavior, capability, beliefs, values, or identity. Simply stated, by virtue of being human, we have a birthright to the fulfillment of our needs. I want to contribute to that fulfillment as compassionately and effectively as possible.

I wonder if this distinction, deserve vs birthright, adds to your clarity? I wonder how you feel hearing it and if you would be willing to share your reactions.

Warmly,

Jim

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Statement to the Network from Marshall and Valentina

My wife, Valentina, and I would like to share our celebrations with
you stimulated by the recent Center for Nonviolent Communication
board meeting near Atlanta, Georgia. The Center for Nonviolent
Communication now has NVC groups working in 65 countries on every
continent and about ¼ million people per year are receiving our
training. At the recent Board meeting we shared our vision that
within the next 10 years we would like to have NVC teams in every
country and NVC reaching millions through mainstream media outlets.

We want to share with you how touched and celebratory we are feeling
at the response of everyone present to this vision. To achieve these
two visions we are radically transforming our organization.

Valentina and I will be leading a Leading Team, {LT} formalizing what
has been our unofficial role.
We are encouraging all trainers to operate, not on their own, but in
association with local NVC circles so that they work together to
support the NVC mission. To support this organizing effort, Jim and
Jori Manske will focus on building the Global Coordinating Council
(GCC).
We are also taking steps to synergize with other organizations who
are also working for a transformation in consciousness.
We will expand the number of NVC trainers on the CNVC staff to better
meet the number of requests for training and ensure continuity of
CNVC’s services.
We are also creating means of making our training available through
the media.

With Love and Gratitude, Marshall and Valentina Rosenberg

Monday, October 16, 2006

Free Hugs!

Every once in awhile, I receive a gem in my inbox. Today I received one passed on by one of my friends and students here in California, "The Sunshine Man." Its a link to a short (less than 4 minute video) and wordless documentary about the Free Hugs Campaign. Watching it touched me with the simple and profound power of love and connection. I'd like to share it with you. The link below will take you to the video on youtube.com. I'd love to hear your reactions!

-Jim

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

Friday, October 13, 2006

Muhammad Yunus Wins Nobel Peace Prize!

One of my heroes, Muhammad Yunus, has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. His inspiring work to transform poverty in one of the poorest countries of the world, Bangladesh, has also spread throughout the world and even influences lending practices in the developed world.

For information on the Grammeen Bank model for micro-lending for the poorest of the poor, go to: Grameen-Banking for the poor

To celebrate by reading about this accomplishment: News results for Muhammad Yunus

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Greetings friends,

I'm heading off to Europe in a couple of days, looking forward to meeting some new CNVC friends.

Before I left I wanted to let you know that Marshall will be in Sannta Barbara this weekend offering two free workshops on Saturday and Sunday. Details below...

Secondly, I receive the following link from a friend in New Mexico and wanted to share it with you: http://www.positivepause.com/en/

Peace, even now,

Jim

Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. will present two workshops to be held in
Santa Barbara, Sept 16 and 17, 2006 at the Wake Center Auditorium,
300 N. Turnpike Road, Santa Barbara, California.

These are FREE events, open to the public, sponsored by Santa
Barbara City College. You do not need to pre-register. We have
space for all who want to attend. You are welcome to either or both
of the following events. CEU credits will be available for MFT/LCSW
& RN/LVN for Sat. ($24) and for Sun. ($16). CNA are free.

Saturday, Sept 16, 2006 - 9:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
Wake Center Auditorium

Compassionate Communication: A Language of the Heart
The essence of communication happens at the heart level. Become a
more effective communicator, educator and negotiator by learning to
use specific tools and techniques of Nonviolent Communication.
Discover how to inspire others to change their behavior willingly.
Learn and practice how to offer and receive criticism without loss
of self-esteem and how to express your feelings and desires directly
and effectively.

Dr. Rosenberg, international peacemaker and founder of the Center
for Nonviolent Communication, has provided training and conflict
resolution in schools, mental health clinics, hospitals, prisons,
war-torn countries, and with individuals and families for 35 years.
His innovative work has created dramatic personal and social changes
toward a more compassionate world.

Sunday, Sept 17, 2006 - 12:30 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.
Wake Center Auditorium

Compassionate Communication: Advanced Applications
If you have attended any of Marshall Rosenberg's previous workshops,
here is a chance to advance your skills through practical
application of the tools and techniques of nonviolent compassionate
communication. Further develop your conflict resolution skills and
improve relationships with spouses, children, parents, bosses and co-
workers.

Dr. Rosenberg is author of the book Nonviolent Communication: A
Language of Life.

Continuing Education classes are for people eighteen (18) years of
age or older (High School students may attend with signed permission
from parents).


Location:
Place: Wake Center Auditorium
300 N. Turnpike Rd, Santa Barbara
Phone: 805) 687-0812

Food is available on the premises.

Accommodations: any place in Santa Barbara will be no more than 10
minutes to the Wake Center. The Santa Barbara Visitor Center may be
helpful to you in suggesting accommodations for you. Their telephone
number is (805) 965-3021.

Directions:

The Wake Center is located about 6 minutes north of downtown Santa
Barbara and 6 minutes south of the airport.

Driving north on 101, the last Santa Barbara exit is Turnpike. Turn
Right on Turnpike (toward mountains). It's one and a half blocks to
the entrance of the Wake Center, on the right side of the street.
Just come in to the gated parking lot.

Driving south on 101, exit at Turnpike. Turn Left, over the
freeway. It's one and a half blocks to the entrance of the Wake
Center, on the right side of the street. Just come in to the gated
parking lot.

If you should have any further questions please feel free to call
Becky Saffold at (805) 687-0812.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Greetings, Friends,

Recently a thread has begun on the CNVC Certified Trainer listserve concerning NVC and NLP. One trainer asked for feedback about any common ground or connection between the two models. I decided to reply and wanted to share my thoughts with a wider audience, so I'm publishing it here.

I've been studying NLP since 1979, became a certified Practitioner in 1991 with Robert Dilts and Todd Epstein, studied at the Master's level in 1996, and participated in 3 NLP Comprehensive Trainer Trainings in 1997-99. I met Marshall in November 2000, so I already had "NLP ears" when I first learned about giraffe ears.

I'm guessing a book could be written comparing and contrasting NVC and NLP, but since we giraffes love brevity, I'll try to keep this to less than 1000 words.

NLP emerged from the efforts of Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the mid 70's. Their early work was built on modeling Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls, as well as Carl Rogers and Milton Erickson. Before the term NLP was coined, they created the "Meta-Model", within which can be found the distinctions between "Life-alienated communication" and "Nonviolent Communication" at the linguistic level. (See the Structure of Magic Vol 1 and 2, as well as Patterns Vol 1 and 2)

NLP is much, much more than eye movements and representational systems (visual, auditory and kinesthetic).

There are 2 main presuppositions to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). A presupposition is an underlying "belief" or axiom upon which the rest of a system (or epistemology) is built.

1. The Map is Not the Territory. (I have heard Marshall say this on at least a half dozen occasions.) This idea seems to have originated from the mind of the early 20th century linguist Alfred Korzybski. Another way of looking at is, the menu is not the meal. We all see the world as we are, not as the world is. In other words, we all use language to create internal "representations" in order to make meaning of the much bigger world "out there". By there very nature, the representations are inaccurate, partially true images of "Reality". The only complete and accurate map would have to be as big as Reality itself! One goal of NLP is to make the richest map possible.

For me, this is also a foundation of NVC. When I remember that my view of the world is of my own making (emerging from the state of my needs and my conditioning) and remember that that is also so for you, it helps me to move from a right-wrong paradigm and into a "yes-and", needs-focused view where connection can be made in spite of disagreement or conflict about strategy or belief.

2. Biological Interactions are Systemic (Cybernetic) as opposed to linear.
One aspect of this idea is that if you exert change on one part of a system, the entire system will be affected. This seems to me to be the heart of empathy, healing, reconciliation and social change. If I approach myself or another with giraffe ears (the intention to connect and a focus on ofnr) it changes the dynamic between us and creates a context for connection and deepening of connection to occur.

A corollary of this presupposition in NLP is that "all behavior is motivated by a positive intention". In NVC we simply clarify that the positive intention is to get a need met.

I tell myself that NLP (and NVC) are both powerful skill sets. In NVC, with the deep and important focus on the intention to connect, abuse of the tools is less likely. This is what I think Marshall means when he speaks of "Spiritual Clarity"- Do I want to live compassionately? Do I want to connect? Are your needs and my needs both important? This is the lynchpin of NVC consciousness.

In NLP, intentions can be much different, and that gives rise to my concern. I may intend to get my needs met without regard to your needs, and NLP offers a powerful array of linguistic strategies that could be used in this way. I have seen NLP-based "pick-up guides" and have personally experienced the power of NLP-based sales techniques. Anthony Robbin's book Unlimited Power gives a flavor of this range of intentions. If all NLP trainers taught with the care and attention to "ecology" and spiritual clarity as Robert Dilts, I would not have as much concern. (Ecology means an awareness that the choices I make affect the rest of the system and that there is a need to protect the integrity and well-being of the system and all of its component parts. I think the words we use to describe this concept in NVC are mutuality, well-being and interdependence.)

For now, I have decided that NVC is "enough". The four components of NVC, the three modes of self-connection, empathy and honesty, the focus of intention on connection and attention on the present moment, define a simple yet profound model to facilitate human development, healthier relationships and life-affirming social change. I like that the basic skills of NVC can be understood (and experienced) by almost anyone in as little as an hour or two, yet the integration of the skills and consciousness is a lifetime's work. I appreciate that NVC can be practiced alone or in groups, that peer led groups can be as life-enriching as groups led by "Certified" trainers. NLP, to be really understood, takes a minimum of 3 weeks intensive training with a Master Trainer like Dilts, Bandler, Grinder, or a few others. The expense of such training makes it virtually impossible for all but the affluent to get the training. And I feel scared that the outcomes may not all be life-affirming.

NLP continues to inform my understanding and integration of NVC, although I am not attracted to the idea of trying to teach it to anyone. When I become clear that connection is what I need, I want a set of easy to learn skills to enhance the possibility that connection is what I will get. NVC offers me these skills. Now its up to me to do the work to integrate the consciousness with ever-increasing ability and awareness.

I'd like to hear from folks any reactions they have to what I have shared here.

Warmly,

Jim

PS A treasure trove of NLP information is available free of charge at Robert Dilt's nlpuniversitypress.com For a complete list of NLP presuppositions go to: http://www.nlpuniversitypress.com/html2/PrPu24.html

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Greetings, all,

I've just returned from a wonderous trip to Hawaii and have posted the first batch of photos from a "hike" I took. This was unlike any hike (or other outdoor adventure for that matter!) I've ever been on before. As the trek progressed, the "path" became more treacherous and slippery, my future more and more uncertain. I felt so many feelings arise-from wonder to fear to exhilaration to relief to boredom to exhaustion to peace. Many needs were met, including connection, mutual support, beauty, "stretch", transcendence...

If you would like to see the pictures from this adventure, go to: share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AcOGrZs4bM2LjA

I'd love to hear your responses!

Warmly,

Jim

Friday, August 11, 2006

A Ramble on Personal Transportation and Emissions

I'm feeling better today after suffering my first migraine attack since moving to California. Another fantasy shattered. Another nail in the coffin of impermanence.

So, I started responding to emails and got involved again with a thread about the best option for a personal vehicle. I've been in a friendly debate with friends about bio-diesel vs a new Prius (Al Gore's advice) vs keeping my own car 'til the wheels fall off.

It seems clear to me that people driving in cars (or using other modes of transportation utilizing internal combustion) contribute to emissions. I see that when I buy a Prius or Insight or whatever, my personal contribution will go down. This is true when I decide to ride my bike or walk to do errands as well and my car sits idly in the driveway. The "emissions life" of my car remains the same no matter which particular person drives it. The optimal strategy seems to be to sell the car to a reckless driver who will crash the car beyond repair within the first mile of driving it while not injuring himself/herself or someone else in the process, and the gas tank is almost empty when I sell it. Then he/she realizes that they don't want a dangerous personal emitter either and pledge to use public transportation for the rest of their life. This would seem to meet the most needs for the most people. (except the insurance company!) 1994 Nissan Quest for sale. 140,000 miles. Gently falling apart. $3000 or best offer. Terrible drivers only need apply. No gasoline included.

I was impressed recently when my car had to be inspected under the CA emissions standards, which are much stricter than NM. My car, although it is almost 14 years old, emits a fraction of the allowed standard. This stimulates slightly less guilt.

Recently I saw "Who Killed the Electric Car". A sad and poignant tale of how the Powers that Be seem locked in an egocentric struggle to focus the most wealth on the least folks at the greatest cost to the most folks. Fun fact to know and tell: The average person drives an average of only 29 miles each day. I reckon this about the range of a golf cart. I also heard that the average speed for a car in New York City is about 3 miles an hour, although I can't remember where I read that. In spite of that, we continue to build and buy cars capable of 400 mile trips at 100 miles per hour. That's abundance?
http://www.sonyclassics.com/whokilledtheelectriccar/

There are kits available to convert many cars to Lithium Ion batteries now. The guy who developed the Li battery is quite a character. He's one of the stars of the movie. Amazing he hasn't been disappeared. One of his early breakthrough batteries was bought lock, stock, and barrel by GM and was never seen from again, allegedly for use in the Electric Car of the movie title, R. I. P.

If the rest of my van was not so completely falling apart, piece by piece, I would consider that option. Apparently the ideal vehicle for conversion is a Chevy S-10 pickup.

Meanwhile, my personal goal is 15 gallons a month or less. At almost $3.30 a gallon, it still a significant dent in the wallet. And gas remains cheaper in the US than most markets. In Holland, gas is about $7/gallon. The biggest exception, our friends to the south in Venezuela who enjoy gas for less than 15 cents a gallon, as of March 2005. (http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/global_gasprices/)

I recently "ran the numbers" on my personal car ownership costs, including gas, maintenance, insurance, et. al. Sometimes I wonder if I could save money by renting a car once a week, or even taking a taxi any place I didn't want to walk. This would not decrease my personal emissions, however, except I might become more efficient. I was astonished to see that I have spent $65,000 in auto related expenses since I started keeping records about 10 years ago. This does not include gas expenses for 7 of the years. Adding an average of $1000/year makes for $72000. The van has 140000 miles on it. I'm guessing the other cars I've owned (driven by my kids) contributed another 50,000 miles. Round it up to 200000 miles. Makes the cost per mile about .36/mi.

Still works out cheaper to own a car. Economies of scale, I reckon. And global warming is one apparent cost of the relatively cheap convenience we enjoy. A curse on our grandchildren, and ourselves if the Buddhists are right about reincarnation.

In Singapore, a "license" to own a car is about $100,000. Public transportation works quite well there.


GloballyWarmly,

Jim
A Ramble on Personal Transportation and Emissions

I'm feeling better today after suffering my first migraine attack since moving to California. Another fantasy shattered. Another nail in the coffin of impermanence.

So, I started responding to emails and got involved again with a thread about the best option for a personal vehicle. I've been in a friendly debate with friends about bio-diesel vs a new Prius (Al Gore's advice) vs keeping my own car 'til the wheels fall off.

It seems clear to me that people driving in cars (or using other modes of transportation utilizing internal combustion) contribute to emissions. I see that when I buy a Prius or Insight or whatever, my personal contribution will go down. This is true when I decide to ride my bike or walk to do errands as well and my car sits idly in the driveway. The "emissions life" of my car remains the same no matter which particular person drives it. The optimal strategy seems to be to sell the car to a reckless driver who will crash the car beyond repair within the first mile of driving it while not injuring himself/herself or someone else in the process, and the gas tank is almost empty when I sell it. Then he/she realizes that they don't want a dangerous personal emitter either and pledge to use public transportation for the rest of their life. This would seem to meet the most needs for the most people. (except the insurance company!) 1994 Nissan Quest for sale. 140,000 miles. Gently falling apart. $3000 or best offer. Terrible drivers only need apply. No gasoline included.

I was impressed recently when my car had to be inspected under the CA emissions standards, which are much stricter than NM. My car, although it is almost 14 years old, emits a fraction of the allowed standard. This stimulates slightly less guilt.

Recently I saw "Who Killed the Electric Car". A sad and poignant tale of how the Powers that Be seem locked in an egocentric struggle to focus the most wealth on the least folks at the greatest cost to the most folks. Fun fact to know and tell: The average person drives an average of only 29 miles each day. I reckon this about the range of a golf cart. http://www.sonyclassics.com/whokilledtheelectriccar/

There are kits available to convert many cars to Lithium Ion batteries now. The guy who developed the Li battery is quite a character. He's one of the stars of the movie. Amazing he hasn't been disappeared. One of his early breakthrough batteries was bought lock, stock, and barrel by GM and was never seen from again, allegedly for use in the Electric Car of the movie title, R. I. P.

If the rest of my van was not so completely falling apart, piece by piece, I would consider that option. Apparently the ideal vehicle for conversion is a Chevy S-10 pickup.

Meanwhile, my personal goal is 15 gallons a month or less. At almost $3.30 a gallon, it still a significant dent in the wallet. And gas remains cheaper in the US than most markets. In Holland, gas is about $7/gallon. The biggest exception, our friends to the south in Venezuela who enjoy gas for less than 15 cents a gallon, as of March 2005. (http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/global_gasprices/)

I recently "ran the numbers" on my personal car ownership costs, including gas, maintenance, insurance, et. al. Sometimes I wonder if I could save money by renting a car once a week, or even taking a taxi any place I didn't want to walk. This would not decrease my personal emissions, however, except I might become more efficient. I was astonished to see that I have spent $65,000 in auto related expenses since I started keeping records about 10 years ago. This does not include gas expenses for 7 of the years. Adding an average of $1000/year makes for $72000. The van has 140000 miles on it. I'm guessing the other cars I've owned (driven by my kids) contributed another 50,000 miles. Round it up to 200000 miles. Makes the cost per mile about .36/mi.

Still works out cheaper to own a car. Economies of scale, I reckon. And global warming is one apparent cost of the relatively cheap convenience we enjoy. A curse on our grandchildren, and ourselves if the Buddhists are right about reincarnation.

In Singapore, a "license" to own a car is about $100,000. Public transportation works quite well there.


GloballyWarmly,

Jim

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Online Practice Group
Live, Interactive Component Now Scheduled


Greetings, Friends,

Well, I've finally settled on a strategy to try for the live and interactive component of our online NVC practice group. I feel a mixture of excitement and apprehension as we enter a new world together! My hopes for the group are to foster a community based on honesty and empathy, grounded in self-connection. We will decide together how to use our time with one another.

We will start with a 90 minute call on Thursday, August 31 at 4 pm, Pacific Daylight Time (-8 GMT). If you would enjoy participating, please follow the following instructions at about 3:55 pm on August 31.

(Note, this is a TOLL call, and you will be billed for the duration of the call by your long distance provider. The number is in IOWA, USA.)

If you are using Skype or other VOIP providers, you may or may not be able to access the call. I have had mixed success with this, apparently because of the delay sometimes encountered sending touch tone signals over the internet.

There is no charge for the Practice Group, although you can send a contribution if doing so would meet your needs.

To Participate:

1. Dial (319) 632-1100
2. Enter your participant access code: 137631#
3. Please take a moment to listen in, and when you sense an "opening" announce yourself.
4. At 4 pm, I will mute all of you in order to say a few things about the structure of the group and my present feelings, needs, and requests, and then I will open the channel to encourage an optional check-in about what needs your are hoping to meet through participating.

Note: Although I cannot imagine more than a dozen of us connecting this way, there is the potential for 96 folks to join the conference call. We will have the option of recording some or all of the class, and folks can access it at their leisure. This will be one of our first agenda items for consent.

If you have any questions, please write to me at nvctrainer@gmail.com

Another final note. The requests for times and days that would work for folks to participate varied widely, from 5 am - 9pm PDT and every day of the week! I finally chose a time that seemed to work for the most people. If this seems like a strategy that meets folks needs, we can schedule other time periods as well.

Warmly,

Jim

Monday, July 31, 2006

Greetings, Friends,

I'm happy that our son Jiva is "home" with us this summer, working with International Projects at CNVC. This summer break for him from his Master's degree studies at the European University for Peace Studies seems like a win-win strategy for both Jiva and CNVC.

Today CNVC received a letter from someone asking about NVC and the current crisis in Israel and Lebanon. The task of responding ended up on Jiva's desk, and he shared it with me. Here's an excerpt of the letter and Jiva's response:

I would really like to know what people in the NVC world are thinking and
feeling about the current situation in Lebanon. Mostly what we hear in the
news is condemnation of Israel for its disproportionate use of force, which
is justifiable. I cannot help judging the Israeli government as taking
action which is unlikely to meet anyone's needs, not even their own.
Hizbollah also is being judged, because they are prepared to threaten the
security and peace of Israeli citizens to advance their cause, as well as
risking the peace and lives of Lebanese. I want to see justice for
Palestinian people, who have had to live in the most terrible conditions. I
want to see Israelis able to live in peace and not pawns in the power games
of those with various interests in the region. I want to see people able to
transcend history and tribe in order to advance the interests and needs of
all people living in the region. Demonstrating against Israel or anyone else
for that matter, does not address any of this, and is counterproductive. How
can we grow a new kind of demonstration, that is positive in intent, that
seeks to unite all who love peace and value the common humanity of all - and
which is at the same time not naive, but cognisant of the strong feelings
and complex issues involved and able to acknowledge and work with that. Who
is doing anything to advance such a cause?

-Concerned

Dear Concerned,

It sounds like you are really mourning what is going on in Israel and Lebanon right now. Sounds like some of the responses that you've heard in the news have stimulated some frustration, anger, and sadness, because your needs for harmony, mutuality, and peace are not being met through current strategies of diplomats and peaceworkers on all sides. I'm also hearing a deep sense of caring and compassion, and it sounds like you are really needing to contribute in ways that will be meaningful to you and to all of those affected by the current violence. Is that right? Is there anything else alive in you around this?

I also feel deep sadness as I hear stories of the escalating violence and suffering each day in the region. At times, I feel hopeless, helpless, and alone, really wishing for a world in which people were more willing to meet needs in mutually life-enriching and peaceful ways. Personally I have many friends, mainly Palestinian and Israeli, who are now surrounded by more violence than ever, and I feel very afraid and helpless as I reflect on what they are going through. I am also wanting to see new approaches to nonviolent resolution that go beyond the norms of protest, which as you said, seem counterproductive, at best, most of the time. But I feel a surge of excitement reading your email, knowing that there are others out there who are wanting to approach and develop creative, life-serving strategies for building unity, peace, and love. I want to let you know that I hear about new developments around this every day, and feel very hopeful that if we all coordinate our actions and work together, we can contribute to creating a world to which we all want to belong.

As far as I know, there is no presence of NVC in Lebanon at this time. In Israel, we have many supporters and independent trainers working to bring the skills of NVC to the region (you can find their contact information on the CNVC website). We also have many other supporters in the region, including in Palestine, Iran, and the United Arab Emirates. CNVC is also working to build relationships with other organizations committed to nonviolence and conflict resolution, and so I am very open to hearing any information about what you know is going on there. Similarly, CNVC is reaching out to people in areas that are highly affected by violence, including the Middle East, and organizing support for special sessions with Marshall devoted to social change. For example, CNVC has recently supported a small group from Iraq to come to Switzerland for NVC training. Of course, many of the people that CNVC would like to reach in these areas are not able, financially, to make the trip and participate in the trainings, so one way to contribute to those efforts is to help them cover the costs through an earmarked contribution to CNVC.

The second major project that CNVC is involved in is the global campaign for Departments of Peace. The National Director of the US campaign, Lynn McMullen, is also the head of development for CNVC, and she has been incorporating NVC by working to train everyone involved in the campaign in basic NVC skills as well as deeper NVC consciousness. This entire campaign is very exciting to me, as it presents an opportunity to address issues around the causes and roots of violence throughout the world. You can find more info on that at www.thepeacealliance.org

You may also look on the CNVC website at the Social Change project, which includes a listserve of people interested in connecting NVC to social change. Here's the link: http://www.cnvc.org/psocchng.htm

Finally, on a more personal note, I am also a student in a MA program at the European University Centre for Peace Studies in Stadtschlaining, Austria. Many of my classmates are deeply involved in transforming the conflict in Israel and Lebanon, and we have all been in dialogue about what directions we would like to take our own work. I have been very vocal in pushing creative approaches to thinking about our contributions, as I share your hopelessness that protest will make any positive difference. I am happy to send you more information about organizations and groups that are working in the region, though many of them are based in Europe, Northern Africa, and the Middle East (and not N. America). Would that kind of information be helpful to you?

Finally, I encourage you to act in ways that are life-serving for you right now. If you don't see the strategies that you want to support in the world, I encourage you to create them! Talk to the people that you know, and don't know, start dialogue groups and spread awareness, bring up ideas at your own NVC practice group--I think we would all be surprised to find out just how much support there is out there.

One strategy that works for me when I'm feeling helpless or hopeless, or really any time I want to be creative, is to think about what needs are alive in me, and just hold those needs in my heart. Sometimes it helps to find a quiet place and just relax deeply for a few minutes, letting those needs settle in my heart and mind, and allowing myself the space and resources to cultivate creative strategies for meeting those needs. I've found that in my own practice, answers just tend to materialize in front of me, and new strategies seem to miraculously appear!

Would you be willing to hit reply and let me know what is alive in you as you read this? I would enjoy hearing any feelings or needs that have been stimulated. I am also very open to and interested in pursuing dialogue about how we can all contribute to this situation. Please feel free to request any more support or information.

With gratitude, respect, and peace,
Jiva

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Dreaming in Giraffe

I recently received an email from someone sharing their NVC dreams, hopes and goals. She asked, "what are some of the NVC leadership dreams that some other people have?" This stimulated in me the following response:

When I let myself dream really big, I see hundreds of thousands of practice
groups in the world. Like AA, you can arrive in any city of the world, consult a guide and find a place to practice NVC in a community of support.

I see a million certified trainers (or trainers with that skill and
consciousness, regardless of affiliation with CNVC)

I also see NVC TV, movies, music, media.

I see a Criminal and Civil Justice system based on a restorative model, not a punitive model.

I see a world where ALL people's basic needs are met with relative certainty. Meeting needs is the sure path to a peaceful model of conflict revolution.

I see the opportunity to live an immersion experience, a Global NVC Training
Center where people can come and learn to integrate NVC more deeply into their lives.

I see a network of NVC Communities around the planet.

I see a network of NVC based Senior Citizen centers, tapping the consciousness
and social change potential of Baby boomers done with accumulation and ready for
contribution.

I see a network of schools at all levels teaching and living NVC.

I see a vibrant and acive online community of learning, support, contribution and integration.

I see what is happening in Germany, happening everywhere! Germany leads the world in trainers per capita and getting NVC into the consciousness of Everyman. I've heard that bookshops throughout Germany prominently display the German translation of Marshall's book.

I see a network of synergy between CNVC and other like-hearted groups contributing to meeting needs.

I see us going past the tipping point of awareness of and focus on Needs.

And I see a more active presence of the NVC community in world affairs. Where is the NVC voice concerning Lebanon, Syria, and the other hot spots? Where is the NVC consciousness in the White House, the UN, in politics in general? Where is the NVC consciousness in the "Anti-War" movement?

I see Marshall receiving the Nobel Peace prize. I see Marshall or another "senior Giraffe" as the Secretary of the new US Department of Peace. I see Department of Peace as common as Miistries of War or Defense.

I see Marshall on Oprah, and Leno, and Letterman, on PBS.

And I see what is happening now continuing to grow and blossom. I'm celebrating over 200 Certified Trainers, many registered cert-candidates, and a quarter million folks touched by NVC in the past few years.

And I dream of undreamed of possibilities emerging from our connection to Needs and Request energy!

I'm looking forward to hearing other's dreams!

Warmly,

Jim

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Greetings, Friends,

I'm feeling excited and pleased that my Radical Compassion: The Essence of Nonviolent Communication has "sold out." This meets my needs for contribution and support!

I will continue to accept registrations with the intent of offering another series as soon as possible.

I received a touching note from one participant today who expressed both excitement and apprehension about the class. I responded with some empathy, then some advice, which I will pass on to you. I'd like to hear if using this simple self-emapthy process meets any of your needs!

Warmly,
Jim
________

I'm guessing your apprehension is around your needs for acceptance and/or competence, is that accurate?

You can get a head start on the class by "connecting with the life" within that apprehension. If you want, take about 5 minutes and write down everything you're telling yourself about attending the class. Uncensored. You will not have to share it with anyone! This is just for you and your growth...

Then, go back and mindfully read what you have written with empathic ears, offering yourself the gift of presence, focusing on the life within the "jackal". See if you can guess what feelings and needs are "under the surface" of what you have written. For example, if I wrote, "Everybody thinks this class is going to suck, especially after they hear me talk for about 30 seconds!", I might guess that I'm feeling anxious, scared, and needing a sense of acceptance and self-acceptance. I suggest you write the feelings and needs down next to each thought. For me, connecting with feelings and needs in this way is a life-serving strategy that meets needs for self-connection, learning, emotional liberation, and growth.

When I was a baby, baby giraffe (I've just graduated to baby giraffe!), I found this a valuable tool for learning and integrating a needs-based consciousness and developing presence with myself and others. I still use it when I get so stuck that nothing else seems to help me connect with life.

I'm hopeful you find this advice useful.

Monday, July 17, 2006


Celebrating baby "giraffe-ness!".

May your needs be met with perfection!

Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/amberlion/190125425/
Photo of 4 month old Nigel by amberlion http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Greetings, Friends,

I feel happy that a couple of folks have recently joined my yahoo group, NVCLeadership! Seeing that meets my
needs for growth and connection.

When I first started an NVCLeadership yahoo group just after moving to California, it was with an intention to create an online community
focused on the practice of Nonviolent Communication. Since then, I have begun
actualizing that potential with some other strategies, including this blog (http://
connectionnow.blogspot.com) my training site (http://
radicalcompassion.squarespace.com)
and my vaestro channel (http://vaestro.com/
viewforum-84)
. I've also recently begun a collaboration with the NVC Academy. With all
of these "Channels" opening, I'm feeling at once exhilirated and overwhelmed.

I'd like to hear from folks connected to this blog what needs you have related to
learning, practicing and integrating NVC and what specific requests you have about how to get your needs met. Hearing
this will support me in crafting some strategies that will hopefully meet your needs (perhaps for learning, community, exploration, and connection) while meeting those needs for me along with contribution, clarity and ease. Would you be willing to respond with what you would like?

I look forward to collaborating together to find ways to make our online community a valuable
resource for all of us.

Warmly,

Jim

Sunday, July 09, 2006

"If you have a teenager, or if you invest in the stock market, you know very well that a complex system cannot be controlled, it can only be managed. Because responses cannot be predicted, the system can only be observed and responded to. The system may resist attempts to change its state. It may show resiliency. Or fragility. Or both.

An important feature of complex systems is that we don’t know how they work. We don’t understand them except in a general way; we simply interact with them. Whenever we think we understand them, we learn we don’t. Sometimes spectacularly."

You can read the complete speech by Michael Crichton @ http://www.michaelcrichton.com/speeches/complexity/complexity.html

I'd like to hear your response if you have one that you would enjoy sharing...

After reading the sppeech, I sense an opening within myself to more deeply question my assumptions; to endeavor to uncover the hidden ones; to forgive myself for mistakes I've made in trying to manage the complex systems in my life; and to have compassion for all of us that we share the same boat. I have an even deeper respect for our planetary system and more understanding of my relationship to it. It stimulates within me a yearning to increase my focus on human needs, as well as community and global needs. I feel safer, and paradoxically accept the risk posed just by being human on a chaotic planet.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Greetings friends,

I'm feeling excited about an upcoming opportunity to share Nonviolent Communication in the LA area. If you know anyone who may be interested in attending this workshop, would you be willing to let them know about it?

Warmly,

Jim

Radical Compassion: an experiential workshop in Nonviolent Communication


Sunday, July 9, 2006, Workshop
10:00 am – 4:00 pm
1420 N. Claremont Bvd Suite 204C
Claremont, CA 91711
AIKO INSTITUTE

Open to all skill levels, including those curious about NVC, beginning, intermediate, and advanced practitioners.

We will begin with an introductory practice session @ 10 am. Followed by a potluck around noon. After enjoying a meal, we will continue to learn about and practice the Nonviolent Communication process together until 4 pm.

Learn to use the Nonviolent Communication process :
- to deeply connect with your own feelings and needs;
- to honestly express your values to others in a way likely to inspire a compassionate response;
- to empathically receive the feelings and needs of others, no matter how the message may be delivered!
- to use the life-affirming power of gratitude as a fuel source for effective personal transformation, more connected relationships and life-affirming social change.

No previous experience required.


Please pre-register by calling 909-624-7770

For more information on the content of the workshop,
call Jim Manske @ 818-541-9695 or email nvctrainer@gmail.com

Friday, June 30, 2006

Greetings, friends,

The whirlwind of the IIT has subsided, and I continue to bask in the afterglow of a remarkable event. I intend to share some of my feelings, needs and thoughts about the IIT later, but right now I'm back in scurry mode, preparing for a weekend junket to Oakland to participate with the BayNVC US Project meeting. In the meantime, I wanted to share with you some writing from my friend Steve Tumulo who attended the recent IIT. He asked me to give folks the opportunity to share some of his experience of integrating NVC. If you would enjoy connecting with Stephen about what comes alive in you as read it, feel free to make a comment or send him an email @ worldwidetumolo@earthlink.net

Warmly,

Jim

Dwelling in the Energy

At a recent Nonviolent Communication intensive training in Albuquerque, Robert Gonzales led a session called “the Living Energy of Needs.” In this session, I began to make a number of connections between the spirit, intention, and process of Nonviolent Communication and the message carried in Christian scripture.

“Meet the Need”
In his presentation, Robert led participants through an exercise in which he invited us to “meet the need.” The invitation was not to “meet” the need in the sense of acting to fulfill it immediately, but to encounter, or meet it. This was an invitation to bring into my consciousness and dwell in the energy in this beautiful desire within me. Through this exercise I encountered the need for self-respect not out of my sense of its lack, but of its presence.

“Fully Human and Fully Divine”
Meeting a need, encountering a need, for which I am deeply hungering and simultaneously connecting to its fullness reminds me of the Christian understanding of the mingling of humanity and divinity in Christ. Christ is the divine energy incarnate, embracing the limitations and unmet longings of human life, while losing none of the consciousness of who he is and where he comes from and his intention on this planet.

“Dwelling in the Energy of the Need”
As longing and eternal presence are embodied in the person of Jesus, Robert Gonzales invited participants to bring together the pain of a deeply felt unfulfilled need an awareness of that need in its presence and life. Through dwelling in the energy of the need, the energy begins to activate inside that person, not changing their circumstance, but simply adding an awareness of the preciousness of how I am made as human, with this beautiful heart’s desire. This is abiding or dwelling in the Quality, in the presence, behind the need.

“Abide in Me”
Jesus invited his disciples to remain in conscious connection with him regardless of their circumstance. “I am the vine and you are the branches,” he told them. “Whoever abides in me will have life within them. They will bear much fruit. Without me you can do nothing.”

“Don’t prepare what to say”
Jesus encouraged disciples to not prepare long speeches in their defense, but to simply abide in his presence and energy and let life flow. This is what I heard Robert inviting us to in focusing on meeting the need as encounter ahead of attempts to go out and get all our needs fulfilled.

“Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”
Out of the awareness of the preciousness of how we are made as human, all with the same powerful desires in each of our hearts, it’s natural to value others needs and my own needs on the same level. Living out of this mutual honoring is living out the great law, to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

“Christ on the Cross”
God is Love. And when Love is crucified, Love responds in a particular way. This is the response of Christ on the cross, experiencing the physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain in unmet desires for love, friendship, life, understanding, intimacy, and much more with no condemnation. Christ on the cross experiences the raw pain of so many unmet desires for love and connection with his people and does not add to it condemnation. Never in the four gospels do we hear Jesus blaming himself or second-guessing his own choices. Likewise, Jesus does not condemn his persecutors: “Father, forgive them. They know not what they are doing.” He recognizes the tragedy in their choice of strategy and leaves them with forgiveness.

In doing so, Jesus leads humanity in the way out of the cycle of violence. Love incarnate bears the cross, the pain of not being met, and, choosing neither condemnation of self nor other, abides.


Stephen Michael Tumolo, Nonviolent Communication International Intensive Training, Albuquerque, New Mexico, June, 2006

Friday, June 09, 2006

Greetings, Friends,

In the moment I'm feeling some overwhelm as I juggle all of the balls in my life. Organizing the IIT has become the number one focus for me, and I'm choosing to put some other projects on the shelf until July. I hope to continue to periodically update the two websites and make occasional contributions to the Vaestro channel. However, I do not currently have enough time, energy or other resources to continue building the technology and content of the Online Practice Group.

In the meantime, please continue your online exploration of the various NVC and CNVC resources available. Some are listed under the links on this page.

I'm appreciating your support and interest in learning more about NVC. If you have any feelings and needs that you would like to communicate, I feel open to receiving them.

Warmly,
Jim

Monday, May 29, 2006

Marshall training at Findhorn!

Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of the Heart and several other books, arrived in Findhorn in Scotland recently to offer NVC training to a group of about 150 folks from 23 countries. Findhorn is offering extensive daily reports on the training. If you would enjoy learning more, click on http://www.findhorn.org/content/nonvio/archives/000662.php

Saturday, May 27, 2006

UPDATE ON ONLINE PRACTICE GROUP

Greetings, Friends,

I feel excited to report that the Radical Compassion online practice group is taking form as I work out the details of a variety of strategies. Read on for some ways you can choose to participate! I'm hopeful this group will meet needs for connection, learning and community.

INTERACTIVE POSSIBILITIES

One way to begin is to read my two websites: http://connectionnow.blogspot.com/
and http://radicalcompassion.squarespace.com/ (or whatever parts of those that you enjoy reading!)

I would enjoy it if you would respond with comments to any portions of those offerings that move you.

Also, you can listen to my first offerings on the Vaestro Audio Forum if you have computer speakers/headphones.

If you have a microphone, you can respond and interact with one another as well. Its kind of like audio email. Very cool!

First step there is to sign up (free) online at Vaestro.com http://vaestro.com/mail
The Radical Compassion forum is http://vaestro.com/viewforum-84

Please let me know if you have any problems with any of these pieces!

LIVE PRACTICE GROUP COMPONENT

I'd like you to consider signing up for a skype.com account (also free). This will allow us to talk together in real time in a free conference call.

Skype is a way to talk to others using your computer. You need a computer, an internet connection and a microphone and speakers/headphones. Most computers come with them built in. Once the software is installed, using Skype is as easy as making a phone call.

To get connected via Skype, first download the software for your PC. Follow this link and choose the software written for your computer:
http://skype.com/download/

There is a "how to guide" to help you with the next steps @ http://skype.com/help/guides/howtoskype/

Secondly, when you have done this, I'd like it if you send me your send me your Skype id. This will enable us to communicate in real time via Skype.

(As an added bonus, all Skype users can make free long distance calls using Skype throughout the US and Canada until the end of 2006. Skype to Skype calls are always free anywhere in the world!)

The third step is to let me know your preference for our first meeting. Please send three possible "windows" of time. (For example, Wednesday evening, 6-8 pm PDT)

I'm envisioning a 2 hour "call" via skype where we can begin to connect "in person" and "live". If possible, please translate your request into Pacific Daylight Time (UTC -7).

In a few days I intend to announce our first meeting after receiving your requests.

REQUEST FOR FEEDBACK

As this is an experimental group, your feedback is vital to me. Throughout your participation, I would enjoy hearing about what works about the online practice group and any problems that arise (either technical issues or any other needs of your that are unmet.)

I am hopeful that together we can all refine this idea into an effective strategy to make NVC available easily to anyone with an internet connection!


I am offering this group as a gift, although I remain open to receiving your support. If you would like to donate to the online practice group, you can do so via paypal @ http://radicalcompassion.squarespace.com Simply click the "make a donation button" and follow the instructions. I'm grateful for your support of my sustainability!

Warmly,
Jim

Friday, May 26, 2006

NVC in Chinese Prisons!

I received the following from my colleague, Liz Gay in Singapore:

Dear Friends

I am delighted to share the content of an email sent to me by a
contact in China.

Yinhua writes:

"Tony Trepasso and his wife in Yunnan have presented NVC inside
prison. The first event a few weeks ago was for 1800 inmates and
staff at a prison in Yunnan.

It was filmed by CCTV and when I asked when it will be broadcast, I
just got the following from Tony

The CCTV1 program will be aired on May 22nd. I'm not sure of the time
but will let you know when I find out. We did another presentation at
the Kunming womens prison. There were over 4000 prisoners this time
and it went very well, tears and laughter from everyone, quite
amazing!"


I have already written back to Yinhua to ask if he can put me in touch
Tony Trepasso, whose name is unfamiliar to me.

Meanwhile, if any member of this list knows anything more about these
activities, I will be delighted to make an enormous song and dance
about them in front of people I know who make decisions about training
activities in Singaporean prisons!

Warmest regards meanwhile

Liz Gay
Singapore

PS. Yinhua, who is working on a translation of Marshall's book,
NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION: A LANGUAGE OF LIFE into Mandarin, considers
it unlikely he will be granted a travel visa that would allow him to
join our Leader-full Gathering in Queensland, Australia this coming
September. Anyone with information that might help us to get around
this is most welcome to contact me via liz@nvcinbusiness.com.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

By the end of the IIT will NVC be "second nature" to me in my daily connections with other humans?

Question: Dear Jim, I'm still thinking about attending the upcoming IIT in Albuquerque. Here's my problem. I'm still unsure that I'll walk away from this training with any higher level of skill than I have now. Can you, or anyone you know, give me an assurance that by the end of the training NVC will be "second nature" to me in my daily connections with other humans?

Signed:
Unsure

Dear Unsure,

I hear your hesitation and need for reassurance that somehow the IIT will really give you the tools, skills and consciousness to make the kind of difference you would enjoy making in the world. I'm guessing that by "second nature" you're wanting NVC to become more of a "default" or automatic response, is that right?

Can I guarantee that? No. Because the responsibility for integrating NVC remains yours. We can only offer the context within which you can experience NVC consciousness. The IIT is designed to support others in living in a consciousness of needs. For me, integration is a life-time project characterized by remembering and forgetting, then forgiving myself for forgetting-and that's remembering!

I can say that the IIT is the best laboratory I currently know for learning to live in NVC Consciousness. I'm guessing that over the course of the 9 days, you will go through a roller coaster ride of feelings and needs ranging from exhilaration to despair. Some moments you will think, "NVC is IT! I'm so glad I decided to do this. I really feel that I'm getting it." Other moments will be characterized by depressing thoughts like, "I'll never get this. I just don't seem to have the capacity." Or perhaps you may feel angry, telling yourself, "Marshall and the trainers are just bull shit artists making up stuff as they go. They don't understand what its like in the real world." And a million variations on these themes. Of course, all of these things you tell yourself are clues about the state of your needs on a moment-to-moment basis.

And that's the (potential) "magic" of the IIT and NVC in general: to become focused, more and more, on Life, on feelings and needs, on the joy of contribution and the power of stimulating that joy in others. On dismantling the domination structures inside our own heads that paint an untrue picture of us as PPPPPPT (piss poor protoplasm poorly put together).
The IIT is also an opportunity to move from the first level of integration of NVC, intellectual understanding, and move into a conscious experience of the choice we have in each moment to create the world we want to live in, characterized by self-connection, relationships built upon a foundation of empathy and honesty, and the hard work of reorganizing social systems to reflect a connection to Life and meeting basic human needs.

I wonder if this helps?

Warmly

Jim

Thursday, May 11, 2006

05/11/2006

Press release from: Alliance for Sustainability

Press release from: Alliance for Sustainability

Request for Nominations for Second Annual Sustainability Awards


(CSRwire) MINNEAPOLIS – The Alliance for Sustainability is requesting nominations for the Second Annual Sustainability Awards to be given at a Gala Celebration at the Historic Fitzgerald Theatre, home of Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion, in St. Paul, Minnesota on Monday evening, September 25, 2006.

“The Second Annual Sustainability Awards and Symposium provide the opportunity to recognize individuals, organizations and communities that have been exemplary leaders and made significant contributions to sustainability—creating a world that is ecologically sound, economically viable, socially just and humane,” said Alliance for Sustainability President and Event Co-Chair Terry Gips.

A distinguished Awards Advisory Board will review the nominations and make recommendations to the Alliance Board which will announce the recipients on World Environment Day, June 5.

“Our previous recipients demonstrate the impressive diversity of sustainability,” said event Co-Chair Dawn Erlandson. “We hope people will consider nominating their favorite heroes and sheroes.”

Previous recipients inspiring author Frances Moore Lappé, artist Peter Max, Aveda Corporation Founder Horst Rechelbacher, Native-American activist Winona LaDuke, Seventh Generation Corporation, musician Larry Long, Minnesota Sustainable Community Network, University of Texas Medical Branch Galveston, the Green Institute and The Intervale.

Nominations may be submitted by Friday, May 19 by any individual, organization or community (including self-nominations) at www.afors.org. Nominees can address any aspect(s) of sustainability, including Food, Agriculture, Business, Labor, Government, Nonprofit, Community, Media, Arts, Culture, Philanthropy, Education, Academia, Faith/Spirituality, Health, Design, Planning, Architecture, Environmental Justice and Law.

Recipients will be expected to attend the award ceremonies and the half-day Sustainability Symposium held the next morning. All costs for travel, food and lodging will be covered.

Sponsors of the Awards and the Sustainability Symposium the following morning include Utne Magazine, Aveda Corporation, Seventh Generation, Piper Jaffray, CSRwire, E – The Environmental Magazine, Gift Works by Mission Research, Mal Warwick Associates, Ayurceutics, Eureka Recycling, Portfolio 21, Indigenous Designs, Jedlicka Design, Baltix Furniture, Rancho La Puerta Spa, Dolphin Blue, Progressive Asset Management, Gegax Family Foundation, University Bank, and Sustainability Associates. Additional sponsors are welcome.

The Alliance for Sustainability was founded in 1983 and has been one of the original proponents of sustainability, developing a widely used four-part definition. Its mission is to bring about personal, organizational and planetary sustainability. It has partnered with diverse business, government and non-profit groups to create the CERES Principles, Living Green Expo, and Congregations Caring for Creation, as well as numerous public policies. It offers trainings on Sustainability and the Natural Step Framework and has an e-newsletter Manna, website www.afors.org, numerous publications, a Sustainability Resource Center, and an excellent internship program.

For more information or a free membership, contact Event Coordinator Karen Engelsen at the Alliance for Sustainability, In the Hillel Center at the University of Minnesota, 1521 University Ave. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414; 612-331-1099, karen@afors.org, www.afors.org

In the Hillel Center, University of Minnesota, 1521 University Ave SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414

612-331-1099

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Launching Radical Compassion: Online Practice Group

Greetings Friends,

I am entering a new chapter in my life. In a few days, I'm heading to Atlanta for a wedding and a workshop. Then, soon thereafter, I head back to Albuquerque to organize and train at the Albuquerque IIT. Right now I intend to return to LA until early July. When I return, we will continue our series on Radical Compassion and I will also contribute to others wishing to form practice groups in the LA area.

In the meantime, I am launching 2 new web-based projects to support folks in integrating NVC. I am experimenting with an "online practice group" composed of three elements:

1. A new website: Radical Compassion http://radicalcompassion.squarespace.com/welcome/
2. An interactive Podcast, also called Radical Compassion http://vaestro.com/viewforum-84
3. My ongoing blog, Connecting With Compassion http://connectionnow.blogspot.com/

I hope you participate! And I'd love to hear your feedback!

Warmly,

Jim

Monday, May 08, 2006

Well-Being as a Predictor of Health
A new public health initiative in Scotland



I subscribe to a google service that snatches headlines from keywords and sends me links to stories. One of the keywords I enjoy watching is "well-being". I discovered this article today and send it along to inspire you to move toward creating the world you want to live in. http://www.theherald.co.uk/news/61521.html

If you enjoy connecting through stories like this, would you be willing to subscribe to my blog? I'd love to create community and connection there. Simply enter your email address here on the lefthand side of the page. I have no intention of sharing your email with anyone else.

Stay tuned for the launching of a new online practice group via my Vaestro channel, http://vaestro.com/viewforum-84

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Greetings, friends,

What is alive in you, right now, as you receive this blog? What feelings are stimulated? What are those feelings telling you about the state of your needs?

And, having connected with yourself, right now, what would make your life more wonderful? What needs would you enjoy meeting?

If you're continuing to read, I'm hopeful that you will meet needs for information, learning and connection!

INFORMATION: The best source for updated NVC information continues to be cnvc.org

LEARNING: I received the following in my inbox from (I)An-ok and I wanted to make the list of resources available to you:

An NVC video that BayNVC put out: http://baynvc.org/video.php

Marshall Rosenberg interview video: http://www.big-picture.tv/index.php?id=17&cat=&a=24

Marshall Rosenberg mp3s: http://www.cnvc.org/sbytes.htm

Miki Kashtan radio show archives: http://baynvc.org/new_announcement_details.php?announcement_id=14

Free NVC telephone class first Thursday of every month: http://www.growingcompassion.org/moreinfoclass.php?classid=152

Free NVC telephone weekly practice group every Wednesday: http://www.growingcompassion.org/moreinfoclass.php?classid=142


And a couple of additions that I enjoy:
Peace Talks with Marshall: http://www.goodradioshows.org/peaceTalksL36.html

Changing Your World Through What You Say with Marshall Rosenberg: http://www.newdimensions.org/dimensions/MBRosenberg032806.ram

Preview Marshall's new CD based course: http://store.yahoo.com/soundstruestore/hh01022d.html

CONNECTION: In order to integrate NVC Consciousness, we need a supportive community. How would you like to get involved? Would you like to start your own practice group? If so, please write to me and I will help you get one going in your community!

Warmly,

Jim Manske
nvctrainer@gmail.com

Monday, April 24, 2006

Greetings, friends,

I made many wonderful new friends at the recent IIT in Santa Barbara. One of them sent me the following poem recently, which I liked and wanted to share with you!

Warmly,

Jim


A poem from Ishana


Hi there Folks,
Giraffe's my name,
My long neck is what gives me fame.
You know what else is special 'bout me?
I have the largest heart outside of the sea!
'Cause my heart is so big, my name has been given
to a language that speaks from the life within.
When we speak Giraffe,
We speak truth from the heart.
Listening for needs can be quite an art -
And feelings too - you know
Sometimes they hide,
But with my long neck,
I can see inside.
And then I can see what's Alive in you -
And that helps me see how much I'm like you!

by Ishana Ingerman - Santa Cruz, CA, USA
NVC Research Launches Vaestro Channel


Greetings friends,

I'm feeling excited to share with you a new resource for keeping track of developments in the field of NVC research. Tom Caruso, chair of the CNVC Research Project (tcaruso@vt.edu) has opened a Vaestro channel to discuss NVC research projects. If you would like to listen, check out his channel: http://vaestro.com/viewforum-87

Listening to Tom's brief explanations of the two projects currently underway met my needs for understanding, clarity and inspiration.

I'd like to hear how you feel after listening, if you'd enjoy sharing then,

Warmly,

Jim

Friday, April 21, 2006

5 Practices for Deepening NVC
part 2

1. Stopping
2. Observation
3. Emergence
4. Savoring
5. Cradle of Compassion



Observation

Recollecting the Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti, Marshall calls the capability of distinguishing observation mixed with evaluation from observation, "the highest form of human intelligence." A useful exercise for me in practicing observation skills consists of mindful walking.
First, setting an intention to connect with myself, I begin walking, preferably with no set direction in mind. Then I take turns opening to my senses, noticing what I see, hear, smell, taste and touch. I also notice thoughts and evaluations as they arise. The practice is to simply notice the difference between observing, which is a "thoughtless" reception of information from the world, and evaluating, which is the "play-by-play" commentary running in my mind.
I enjoy doing this for various periods of time.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

5 Practices for Deepening NVC
Part One
At the recent IIT in Santa Barbara, I offered a workshop in some practices to assist folks in integrating NVC Consciousness more deeply. Over the next few days, I intend to offer brief descriptions of the practices. I'd love to hear your responses and experiences.

1. Stopping
2. Observation
3. Emergence
4. Savoring
5. Cradle of Compassion

1. Stopping

In Marshall's suggestions for working with anger, his first step is to "Stop and Breathe". I have found it useful to practice this strategy when I'm feeling otherwise than angry. This has contributed to cultivating more choice when angry feelings and thoughts are stimulated.
To practice, find a comfortable sitting position with eyes open or closed. Set an intention to connect with yourself.
I like to enjoy a few deep, conscious breaths; then focus on my breath, noticing the rise and fall of my abdomen on the inhale and the exhale. Notice the feelings in the body.
If I become aware of a thought, I "label" it, then let it go, returning to my breath and the feelings in my body. By labeling, I simply mean to notice the thought, then say "thinking" to myself. If the thought persists or returns, I label it again. It is not unusual to completely forget that you are doing this process, especially when you are first learning. We habitually become entangled in our thoughts in an unconscious way. This practice is designed to add more choice to the thinking process.
I continue like this for 5-35 minutes.
At the conclusion of the practice, I enjoy connecting with any needs met and savoring them and attending to any unmet needs.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Remembering

I don't often remember dreams, but last night I was awakened during the darkest part of night before the dawn, feeling desperate and bereft. In my dream, Jori had "shut down" completely, and seemed to cast me into the role of enemy. Nothing I could do could crack her open again. I felt flummoxed because I did not know "what I had done" to stimulate this response. Nothing I said or did "worked" to re-connect us.

This reflects a deep core fear in me around helplessness to influence others in order to support my well-being. It reminds me that we come into the world alone, we will leave the world alone and that loneliness is one aspect at our core. I suppose at some absolute spiritual level we are all one, but that awareness seems distant when I touch my aloneness and the grief and the mourning I feel around that.

As I write that, I connect with the anniversary tomorrow of my brother's birth. He would have been 59.

We were never as close as I would have wished (he was eight years older than me). As I grew up, he was always my inspiration. He seemed to move through life like a super-hero to me, boldly confronting the mystery, showing me glimpses of my future as I watched him navigate. I motivated myself in many respects trying to "earn" his respect and approval. A part of me longed for acceptance from him and a quality of connection I craved. I don't remember ever revealing any of this to him. This stimulates profound sadness in me.

We touched depth occasionally, sweetly. Once, about a month before he died in 1993, he called to express his concern and condolences over the recent death of my best friend. Remembering that now I feel warm, tearful; touched by his willingness to reach out to comfort me in the face of his own overwhelming pain. I was not ware of the depth of his anguish in that moment, and I regret deeply not having more skill in being able to invite, connect with and listen mindfully to his suffering. I tell myself that if I had been proficient in NVC then, it might have made a huge difference. I feel sad connecting with that, a sweet sadness around contributions I wish I could have made, longing for his well-being and our connection.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Greetings friends,

I would like to share with you some celebrations of how CNVC has enriched my life and make a clear and present request for support.

As the coordinator for this year's IIT in Albuquerque, I am hungry to make the training available to the largest number of people. We have priced the training to be basically a break even proposition in order to make it as affordable as possible. It is the least expensive IIT, as far as I know, in North American history.

And still it is out of reach for many with a passion to use NVC for social transformation. I want to help others to be able to attend the IIT and am proposing that you send a donation to CNVC earmarked for the IIT Scholarship Fund for Albuquerque. Scholarship deadlines are April 17, and I pray to have enough funds to say yes to every request.

Would you be willing to look into your heart, right now, and connect with whether you can joyfully give some money for this purpose?

Then if it is yours to give, would you make the donation, right now?

I would enjoy gifts of any amount, and what would really make my heart sing is gifts of $100 or more from those who want to acknowledge how NVC, CNVC, and NM-NVC have enriched their lives. To donate, go online to http://cnvc.org/donation.htm or call 818-957-9393 or write CNVC, 2428 Foothill Blvd., La Crescenta, CA 91214.

You can also donate to NVC-NM at http://nvc-nm.org/donations.htm and specify it is for IIT Scholarships.

With Gratitude,

Jim

More than 50 ways CNVC has contributed to me:

1. Sponsored the training where I first met Marshall (a golden oldie!) (and a life transforming event!)
2. Organized the IIt I attended (another golden oldie)
3. Sent me Newsletters for free to distribute for the past several years, including last year
4. Provide a website with a listing of me and my training offerings, accessible by anyone anywhere with a computer
5. Give me a logo and a "brand" with ever increasing recognition
6. Give me a community wherever I go in the world
7. Open doors for me because of MBR's reputation
8. Answer the phone whenever I call for support
9. Answer an email whenever I need support
10. Act as a warehouse for my book and material sales
11. Ship me books and other materials whenever I want, at a discount that helps to support me
12. Certify me as a trainer, and thus open doors for me
13. Offer me the opportunity for a tax deductible donation to a cause I believe in
14. Make and keep agreements to protect the NVC service mark and copyrights
15. Make and keep agreement to provide me with an ever-increasing number of materials: books, cds, videos, cassettes, pamphlets, newsletters, puppets, ears, etc
16. Give me a list of skilled people in every part of the world to connect my friends and family with NVC
17. Give me a network of people to support me in growing myself, my practice, my training business
18. Give me a source for inspirational stories, testimonials, etc
19. Provide me with sound bytes of Marshall
20. Built a network and community of 200 Certified trainers of which I am a part
21. Built a network of hundreds of local NVC supporters around the world
22. Organize and implement Marshall's schedule which continues to be a primary way NVC is spread throughout the world
23. Offers scholarships to folks to assist them to attend training when they do not otherwise have the means to do so.
24. Act as a central clearinghouse for information and other resources.
25. Offers and provides supportive services to a Board of directors to direct the mission and vision of CNVC and NVC
26. Maintains tax exempt charity status in the USA
27. Offers free materials to those who have a need but not the ability to pay
28. Forges and maintains synergistic relationships with other organizations with missions and visions in harmony with my values
29. Offers access to webcasts
30. Offers resources for my students to access on the website
31. Fosters connection through e-groups
32. Helps to sponsor events like giraffe conventions, festivals, camps and conferences
33. Helps to publish QuickConnect e-newsletter 4 times per year
34. Struggles to create a life serving system within a domination structure
35. Offers a gateway for increasing awareness of NVC through media connections
36. Offers IIT's around the world
37. Offers to connect trainers with requests for training throughout the world
38. Offers a community of trainers connected through yearly reports
39. Does fundraising to continue to support the work
40. Updates a directory every month of contacts within the NVC Network
41. Protects the copyright and service mark for my use as a certified trainer
42. Provides resources that I can use to make my own materials in my training
43. Provides resources that I can use to continue to deepen my practice of NVC
44. Helps to fund research showing the efficacy of NVC in schools, prisons and other places
45. Provides inspiration and support to spiritual seekers in many traditions
46. Sponsors the gratitude project
47. sponsors projects in geographic locations
48. Sponsors projects related to themes, eg parenting
49. Sponsors projects related to language groups, eg lucesphone
50. Introduced me to open space, sociocracy and many other valuable tools and technologies
51. Created and fostered a training network that fulfilled my need to learn NVC by providing me with quality trainers (especially Jorge Rubio, Eva Rambala, Wes Taylor, Robert Gonzales, John Cunningham, Towe Wildstrand, Sura Hart, Sylvia Haskvitz, Lucy Leu and Susan Skye)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Report from the Santa Barbara IIT

I am enjoying the glow of living in NVC Community in Santa Barbara, CA at the International Intensive Training. We have folks here from all over the planet, including someone from war-torn and tsunami ravaged Sri Lanka.

We have virtually the same training staff here as will be in Albuquerque. I have particularly enjoyed connecting with John Kinyon from BayNVC, enjoying the focus he brings to self-emapthy and attention to the messages our bodies send us to alert us to the state of our needs.

I am thrilled seeing how community, intimacy and connection are rapidly building because of the power of NVC to cultivate a needs centered consciousness. The glow of empathy and the light of honesty are permeating the beautiful grounds of Casa de Santa Maria in the hills above Santa Barbara.

I hope you will all consider helping us to bring this experience to our community in New Mexico and attend our IIT in Albuquerque this June.

If you have any questions about the IIT experience, I'd love to hear them to assist you in deciding to join us!

Warmly,
Jim

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Support for the Gratitude Binge

This morning I received a wonderful gift in my email from my dear friend Juli... poem by Rumi:

the net of gratitude

giving thanks for abundance
is sweeter than the abundance itself
should one who is absorbed with the Generous One
be distracted by the gift?
thankfulness is the soul of beneficence;
abundance is but the husk,
for thankfulness brings you to the place where
the Beloved lives.
abundance yields heedlessness;
thankfulness brings alertness:
hunt for bounty with the net of gratitude.

Friday, March 24, 2006

From E-mail to "G"-mail...

My new morning ritual in my spiritual practice is to read my e-mail, working to receive the feelings and needs of the sender and then responding to them from the heart. Framing it as a spiritual practice has moved email, the chore, to "G"-mail! That's "Gratitude mail" or "Generative mail". After all, email at the root level is a strategy for connection, right?

I begin with my intention: what are my hopes and dreams as I open my laptop and log on? What needs am I fulfilling? I want to pay attention to the presence of any demand energy within me that says I "have to" do anything related to this practice. If I notice that, I want to train myself to pause in self-empathy, connecting with the deeper feelings needs under the surface of the "have to" thoughts. I want to savor the life behind that demand energy, than choose once again, opening my self to the vast possibilities of how I might want to move forward in this moment.

If "G"-mail is alive in me, I want to move there with an openness to connect. Scanning through the inbox, who calls to me?

Reading the first mail, imagining what this person looks like as they wrote it, reaching out with empathy across cyberspace and time to connect with another human being who has chosen to send me a "love note", an offering of connection or gratitude, all with the potential to contribute to someone's well being. I have seen and felt the power of words delivered to my inbox. Some "G"-mail moves me to laughter, others, to tears, a few to despair. I want to savor the feelings and needs that come alive in me as I connect.

If the "G"-mail I'm reading ends on a clear and present request, I am likely to respond immediately. Otherwise, I choose to either "let it go", silently thanking the person for considering to include me, or I "flag" it for later response. I usually tuck all received "G"-mails into folders in case I want to re-connect later.

When responding to "G"-mails, I am working to begin with whole-hearted, sincere gratitude, wondering and connecting with what need or needs of mine have been met in relation to this email, either right now in the present moment, or echoing from the past into the present. I start by expressing this gratitude, imagining in my minds eye the person on the receiving end of the "G"-mail savoring with me how they have contributed to my well-being. I tell them specifically what they have done that contributed to me, what need of mine they helped me to meet, and how I feel about it right now. I move from this resourceful space into the body of my g-mail, expressing with honesty what is alive in me, perhaps related to my unmet needs, ending on a clear and present request.

Then, I want to train myself to stop, if even for a moment, to savor. My intention was to meet my need for contribution when I pressed "SEND". I want to feel that feeling that comes with intending to contribute to another's well being. From this space of generative empathy for myself and others, I scan my needs, and choose once again...

And, in this moment, I am imagining you reading this, hoping that it has contributed to your well-being. Would you be willing to let me know by making a "Comment" or writing to me at nvctrainer@gmail.com?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

INTL PEACEMAKER Receives Major Award, Leads Local Workshops
by Bay Area Nonviolent Communication

International Peacemaker Marshall Rosenberg is receiving a Bridge of Peace Award from the Global Village Foundation in Los Angeles just before he arrives in the Bay Area next week.
Presenting the award to Dr. Rosenberg will be Michael Nagler, founder of the Peace and Conflict Studies Center at UC Berkeley.
Following the award ceremony, Marshall Rosenberg will make a rare visit to the San Francisco Bay Area to present workshops open to the general public, March 28th through April 2nd.

International Peacemaker Marshall Rosenberg is receiving a Bridge of Peace Award from the Global Village Foundation in Los Angeles just before he arrives in the Bay Area next week.

Presenting the award to Dr. Rosenberg will be Michael Nagler, founder of the Peace and Conflict Studies Center at the University of California, Berkeley, and author of Is There No Other Way? The Search for a Nonviolent Future.

Following the award ceremony, Marshall Rosenberg will make a rare visit to the San Francisco Bay Area to present workshops open to the general public, March 28th through April 2nd.

"No army is able to prevent terrorists from poisoning our streams or fouling the air. We are getting to a point where our best protection is to communicate with the people we're most afraid of."
- Marshall Rosenberg

Dr. Rosenberg will be leading workshops on overcoming prejudice, healing emotional pain, and improving relationships.

These workshops will take place March 28-31 in Oakland at the Lake Merritt United Methodist Church, 1330 Lakeshore Avenue, and April 1-2 in San Francisco at the Women's Building, 3543 18th Street.

Through Dr. Rosenberg's work, thousands around the world have found new avenues to peace--within their families and communities, in schools, prisons, and between warring factions in some of the most violent places on earth.

Rwanda, Nigeria, Burundi, Croatia, Serbia, Russia, Ireland, Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, Israel, and Palestine are examples of countries where Dr. Rosenberg's nonviolent communication (NVC) is taught.

"We have lived traumatic moments over and over again--moments of fear and panic, incomprehension, frustrations, disappointment, and injustice of all sorts, with no hope of escape--which made it even worse. The NVC process offers us a peaceful alternative for ending this interminable Rwandan conflict."
- Theodore Nyilidandi, Rwandan Dept. of Foreign Affairs; Kigali, Rwanda

This event is sponsored by Bay Area Nonviolent Communication (BayNVC) a nonprofit organization in Oakland which offers ongoing classes in Dr. Rosenberg's nonviolent communication process throughout the Bay Area.

BayNVC also facilitates programs such as the Restorative Justice Project at San Quentin and other area prisons and jails, and the global Peaceful Families, Peaceful World Project, supporting families in living with compassion and connection.

All contributions go toward furthering Dr. Rosenberg's work. Online registration is available at http://www.baynvc.org

SOURCE OF MARSHALL ROSENBERG QUOTE IN THIS NEWS RELEASE
http://www.cnvc.org/diankillian.htm (article discussing Restorative Justice; gives a good introduction to Marshall Rosenberg)

LINK TO THE BRIDGE OF PEACE AWARD ANNOUNCEMENT: http://www.globalvillagefoundation.org/news.html

MORE ABOUT BAY AREA NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION
http://www.baynvc.org/mission.php

MORE ABOUT MARSHALL ROSENBERG'S UPCOMING BAY AREA WORKSHOPS http://www.baynvc.org/marshall_rosenberg_visit_spring_2006.php

"Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective tools to foster health and relationships. Nonviolent communication connects soul to soul . . . It is the missing element in what we do."
- Deepak Chopra, author, Ageless Body and Timeless Mind

To read more about what Deepak Chopra has said about Marshall Rosenberg: http://www.wilddivine.com/DeepakNovemberLetter/

Article republished from http://www.indybay.org/